


Hitchhiker

by UnderTheBedAndInYourHead



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Abusive Relationship, Angst, Car rides, Cold, Ditched at the side of the road, Fluff, Hypothermia, Jason and Nico are flirts, Jealousy, M/M, Mortal AU, Pancakes, Pasta, Rich Jason, Rich Nico, Threesome, Winter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-01
Updated: 2018-07-18
Packaged: 2018-07-19 11:24:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 15
Words: 27,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7359310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnderTheBedAndInYourHead/pseuds/UnderTheBedAndInYourHead
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Percy is stranded at the side of the road, in the middle of the night, during winter, who is going to help him?<br/>Two beautiful strangers, of course.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chill

**Author's Note:**

> So I've been working on this one for a while and I really hope that you guys all like it a little bit.

It was a chilly night. Percy stood on the edge of the highway, his arms were folded, trying to keep the scarce warmth of his sweater from escaping. When he breathed, tiny clouds of fog floated into the air in front of him. It was dark, the stars the only lights that he could see, but they were cold and  _ so _ far away.  Percy wasn’t sure what time it was, but he knew it was sometime past the early morning hours. Maybe two o’clock? How long he had been standing in the cold was also unknown. It felt like it had been  _ hours _ .

Somewhere in the distance, Percy saw lights-two glowing yellow eyes moving swiftly towards him. He stepped back and against his better judgement, stuck out his arm, letting his cold hands slowly curl into fist and popping up his thumb.

The vehicle kept going.

Percy let his arm drop, sad and angry and terrified and very much alone once again. It was  _ so  _ cold.  The boy began to walk down the road again, feet turning to ice cubes in his sneakers, the light of the stars helping him to find his way. He passed road signs, his destination observed to be sixty miles away. Sixty miles of walking in the dark, in the cold, alone. Percy would have cried, but that would mean the tears would freeze to his face.

Another car, Percy stuck out his thumb, the car kept moving.

He couldn’t blame the drivers. It was late and it was dangerous to pick up strangers from the road. For all they knew, Percy was a hockey mask murderer. Heck, the people driving could be murderers. Did he _ really _ want to risk it?

Yes. Yes he did. He was cold.

Ten or more vehicles passed within the space of what felt like two hours. Percy was just about ready to give up. Just one more try. He stuck out his thumb.

A shiny truck pulled over beside him, the colour was hard to make out, it was to dark. The windows rolled down slowly.

“Hey, are you alright?” A man, looking to be no older than Percy himself, leaned over his smaller passenger, who made an angry huffing noise as he was squished against the seat. 

“I-I was j-jus-s-t won- wondering if I-I c-c-could get a r-ride t-to the c-c-city.” Percy’s teeth were chattering uncontrollably, his whole body shuddering. 

“Fuck, you’re  _ cold _ .” The driver elbowed his passenger. “Come on, Nico. Get out and put him in the middle.” The passenger, Nico scowled. 

“Would you give me a second? Please, Jason.” Nico unbuckled his seatbelt and pushed open the door. He hopped out of the vehicle and ushered Percy inside, his face still a bit grumpy looking.

The dome light was on and it cast the two men in a washed out, yellow glow. The driver, Jason, was blonde with kind, blue eyes and a worried, white toothed smile. He was built like an  _ Abercrombie  _ underwear model, his heavy winter jacket unzipped. The grumpy one, Nico, was dark haired with long curls. His eyes were such a deep brown that they were almost black, his brows were drawn together suspiciously. He was smaller than Jason, wearing an overlarge winter jacket and skinny jeans. He too looked like he should be modeling undergarments.

“Th-Thank yo-ou,” Percy breathed, scooting into the middle seat of the truck. The blonde scrunched his brows and then turned to reach behind the seat, pulling out a neatly folded, blue blanket. He proceeded to wrap Percy up in it. The grumpy man climbed back into the vehicle, his side brushing against Percy for a moment before he managed to fish out the seat belt and clip it around Percy’s waist. He did the same for himself and then closed the still open, door. The light stayed on for a brief moment before blinking off, leaving the three boys in the dark, the headlights and controls the only things casting any light.

Jason reached for the control panel and cranked up the heat, tilting the vents fully towards Percy’s shaking form. Percy sighed as the heat started to relax his taut muscles. “Thank you,” Percy said again, his voice less forced and shaky. 

“You’re welcome,” the grumpy guy said. “Now what the  _ fuck _ were you doing out there?”

“Nico!” Jason scowled, sounding scandalized and reaching over to swat the boy’s curly head.

“Ow.” Nico deadpanned.

“What my friend here, Nico, means is, why were by the side of the road so late at night, wearing only a sweater. I mean, it’s  _ winter.” _ The man rephrased the question, eyes kind even in the dark.

Nico mumbled quietly, sounding mostly to himself. “That’s  _ not  _ what I meant and I am your  _ boyfriend _ you dumbass.”

Percy shrugged nervously, casting his eyes towards the floor. 

“We’re not going anywhere unless you give us an answer,” Nico said. “We’re not harbouring a criminal if that’s what you are.” 

Percy glanced at Jason, who besides shifting awkwardly, did nothing. 

Percy let out a sigh and spoke quietly, almost a whisper. “I’m not a criminal. I was just coming back into the city with my boyfriend. We were at a party, I was talking to someone and well...Luke gets jealous. We had a fight in his car- I mean, I told him it was nothing, they were just friends but...he didn’t believe me. He told me to get out, so I did... but I forgot my jacket in his car. I mean, I figured he’d come to his senses and apologise or something...but he just...drove off.”

Jason and Nico stared at him from both sides. Percy sunk lower in his seat, hating that he was afraid. His head feeling kind of funny.

“Your boyfriend left you on the side of the highway, at night, wearing nothing to keep the cold out, because he was jealous of some other person at a party.” Jason said, staring at him incredulous. Nico leaned back against the seat and let out a low whistle. Percy scrunched his eyes closed.

They didn’t believe him. They were going to kick him out. His breathing felt too quick, his chest practically jumping. 

He heard the gears shift, they were moving. 

Percy breathed a sigh of relief.

It was a moment before anyone talked, voices low and concerned. Jason’s eyes flickered to Percy’s face and then back to the road. “Are you two really...serious?” Jason prompted. “I mean, the guy ditched on a highway. Will you be seeing him again?”

Percy sighed, he was feeling  _ really _ sleepy.    
“We’ve been on and off for years. He does this kind of stuff all the time and usually I would dump someone who pulled crap like this... Luke and I have known each other for a long time. He has issues... I can’t just abandon him.”

“But he abandoned you,” Nico grumbled.

Percy smiled sadly. “I guess I’m just a bit more stubborn than I should be.”  He scrunched his eyes shut, everything was swimming around. 

“I’ll say,” Nico breathed out.

“Are you warm enough?”Jason changed the subject, something Percy was glad for, he didn’t want to explain everything. He felt like if he talked about it anymore, he would puke.

“Yeah...thank you.” Percy paused, suddenly confused and a bit scared. “You guys aren’t psycho or anything right? I mean...you aren’t going to kill me…?” Jason glanced at him, taking in his tired appearance.

“Um...no? Nico forgot to bring the shovel so, I guess we’ll have to let you go.”

Nico snorted next to them.

“Oh. Good.” Percy said, smiling a little strangely before another shiver rippled through him and he almost bit his tongue off.  _ “Fuck.”  _

“Nico, how warm is your body right now?”

“I don’t fucking know. I’m like a freaking corpse on my best day.”

“Then are you awake enough to drive?”

“Yeah. Of course.”  

“Switch with me.” Jason said, looking pointedly at their passenger who was still shaking with little aftershocks. 

“Sure, okay. Yeah.”Nico said, looking slightly worried.

Jason pulled over again and once more, the doors were open. Percy shook against the cold that entered the vehicle. The two boys switched sides so that Nico was in the driver's seat and Jason sat in the passenger side. As soon as the doors closed and seat belts were buckled, Jason’s arms were wrapped around the boy in the middle. Jason pressed as much of his body as he could against Percy’s smaller one. “I thought you said you were warm enough.” Jason sighed.

“Thought.. was... too.” Percy slurred the words a bit, leaning against Jason and closing his eyes.

“Hey now, don’t go to sleep on me. Ask us where we were driving back from. Come on, I need you to stay awake for me.”

“Where you coming back..?”

Nico caught on quickly. “My half sister owns a horse ranch a ways out from here. Supper was running a little late. We make our pasta from scratch and the flour got everywhere because  _ somebody  _ dropped the tin.” Nico glowered at Jason for a moment, but there was no malice in it. It was actually pretty affectionate. That look kind of made Percy feel warmer. 

Jason commented back to Nico: “In my defense, I told you that I couldn’t cook beforehand.”

“Maybe, but I thought you may have had some experience with balancing.” Nico spoke dryly, smiling crookedly.

The blonde man shrugged and Percy could feel it in his own body. “Maybe I slipped.”

“Maybe I tripped you.”

Percy couldn’t help the laugh that tore through him then, the two boys were so sweet to each other, it was nice to watch. There was silence for a moment before Percy felt someone brushing his bangs back out of his face.

“Hey, there. Are your feet cold?” Jason asked, noticing the melting snow on his sneakers. Percy hadn’t even answered him before the bigger male was shushing him and cooing, reaching for his feet and pulling off the wet shoes and socks. “Better?” Percy nodded, his head feeling heavy.

“How’s he doing?” Nico asked, glancing over at his boyfriend who was trying to warm the boy between them.

“He should be alright, but I think we should stop by the hospital, just to be sure.”

“Okay. It shouldn’t be long now, I can see the lights.”

The boys conversation faded into background noise and a faint outline of the world became nothing.


	2. wake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it comes...

When Percy woke up, he felt warm again. He was neck deep in blankets and lying between what felt like two bodies. His eyes felt gritty and his feet were sore, but besides feeling sluggish and fatigued, Percy felt pretty much fine. He tried to sit up and get his bearings, but the weight of all the blankets was almost crushing. 

Two sets of arms wrapped themselves around his waist, pulling him back down to the mattress. Percy made an “Oomph,” noise as the blankets collapsed on top of his head. Two sets of eyes stared at him from both sides. The boy in the middle felt a strong sense of deja vu. 

There were brown ones, staring at him skeptically and blue ones, sparkling with laughter. 

“Are you warm enough yet?”

“What is going on right now?”  

Jason saw the slight alarm in his eyes and quickly moved to explain things. “Don’t worry, we didn’t have a threesome. Although, Nico and I wouldn’t mind that if the situation arose.” Percy cocked an eyebrow and Nico snickered beside him.

Jason continued, “We took you to the hospital after you passed out last night, you ended up having hypothermia. It was mild, so the doctors let us take you home. Thankfully I had treated you fast enough during the ride, so it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. Doc said that we should cover you in blankets. They removed your wet clothing at the hospital and gave you new pants to take you home with.”

“That doctor was an idiot.” Nico piped up, grumbling. “He should have kept you overnight. I swear you were still shivering when we left.” Percy felt his cheeks warm up, which was probably a good sign.

“Shush, Nico. They didn’t have enough space to keep him there overnight. Besides, shivering is supposed to be a good thing.”

“I still think we should have taken him to Will.”

“It was an emergency. Will was to far away, not to mention,  _ asleep _ .”

“I’m sorry, but-why are you two in bed with me?” Percy said, cutting into their bickering.

“The doctor said that body heat would help, so...hi.” Nico answered with little inflection, turning his face towards Percy's. “We decided to keep our clothes on, though.”

“Hi.” Percy replied before bringing his eyebrows together. “You said that you brought me to the hospital. How much did they bill you?” Percy silently gritted his teeth, dreading the response. He wasn’t equipped with medical insurance, usually taking care of injuries  and medical conditions by himself.

“It doesn’t matter. We covered it already, there’s nothing outstanding.”

Percy’s eyes widened, surprise written on his face. “I’m sorry. I mean, I’m very flattered and  _ extremely  _ grateful for all the help you’ve given me, but I can’t accept this. I need to pay you back.” Percy pushed the wall of blankets off of himself and sat up- apparently too fast since his sight blacked out a bit, bright spots dancing in his vision.

“Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Slow down a bit. We don’t want you to puke.”

“That may be impossible, I think my stomach shriveled up and died,” Percy moaned grabbing his head. Eventually the spots left his eyes and he was finally able to view his surroundings.

Expensive has a sort of look to it.

It was the sort of place that you would see in magazines or on those hotel websites where you can browse through pictures of amazing places you could rent- if you had the money and your boyfriend wasn’t such an ass.

The walls were clean and painted a dusty sort of blue colour, the ceiling, white with a textured knockdown. The floor seemed to be made of some dark type of wood. There were floor to ceiling windows with long, deep purple drapes. The bed lay against the far wall and was large enough to accommodate four people. A television was attached to the opposite wall, and there were two  _ extremely _ comfortable looking chairs sitting next to the windows. There were two doors in the room aside from the entrance. One, Percy assumed was a closet, walk in, probably. The other must have led to a bathroom. 

Then Percy noticed the clock on the bedside table. It was 2:00 in the afternoon.

“Oh gods. I have to go.” He tried crawling over Jason in order to get off the bed, but an arm around his waist halted his movements. Turning his head, he found Nico’s face near his own. Dark eyes and pink lips and bed hair that somehow still made him look glamorous. 

Percy may have squeaked just a little bit.

“Would you stay still for one second? Seriously, you’re going to hurt yourself.” As soon as Percy stopped moving, Nico released him. Jason smiled gently and Percy couldn’t help but feel at ease.

“Don’t worry. We’re not going to hold you hostage. But at least stay for breakfast?”

I was a question, not a command and that made him feel so  _ good. _ Percy glanced at the clock again- 2:03. Luke was going to wonder what had happened to him, then he was going to get angry. Especially if he had stayed for breakfast with two guys who were obviously willing to climb into his pants. 

Part of him hated that he was afraid to stay with two good samaritans who helped him out when  _ Luke  _ was the one who ditched him at the side of the road. It was unbearably _ stupid _ . Percy smiled, mind made up. 

“I’d  _ love _ to stay for breakfast. How do you guys feel about pancakes?”

 

_____________________________

“They’re blue. Why are they blue?” Nico held a pancake up, staring at Percy with a look that said: ‘what is this?’ It looked funny on the man’s face and Percy had to stifle a laugh.

“Because I put blue dye in the batter,” Percy smiled, placing the _ beyond _ fancy syrup container on the square table. Jason snorted into his orange juice. 

“These are delicious. Thank you for making us breakfast.” Jason ate with a strange sort of gracefulness. He had perfect etiquette and table manners. His fork was held firmly in his hand and he had no need for a napkin. It made Percy feel a bit like a slob.

The green eyed boy looked at Nico, motioning towards Jason with his eyes. Nico smirked at him, rolling his eyes. “I can see you two.” Jason said, glancing at them and squinting. He was wearing glasses. Why hadn’t he noticed that before? They made him look  _ really _ good.

“Sorry, had no idea that you had eyes.” Nico smirked again, flicking a piece of pancake at the blonde with his fork.

“Hey!” Jason yelled indignantly, jumping backwards. His chair almost fell over, but Nico had already gotten up and righted the wooden dining chair before it could hit the floor.

“Love ya.” Nico pressed a sticky, wet kiss against Jason’s cheek before grabbing the orange juice from off the counter and pouring more into his glass.

It was a sweet exchange, really, really sweet. It made Percy blush.

“If you guys do any more of this ‘cute couple’ stuff, my teeth are going to fall out of my face.”

“That wouldn’t be good,” Nico winked.“You have such nice teeth.”

“Don’t you and your boyfriend do disgustingly adorable things together?” Jason asked, cocking an eyebrow quizzically.

Percy’s face fell and he drew into himself a bit. “No. No, we don’t really do any of that stuff. He’s more of a… I don’t know. He’s a- he’s a different sort of guy…”

“Well that’s...that sounds interesting.”

“I think that what you mean to say is- ‘Wow, that’s shitty.’” Nico started, using a falsetto. “‘Anything we can do to help?”

“I don’t think you need to help me with anything. I don’t even know you two and I don’t think that you have any business trying to fix my relationship.” Percy spoke, his voice stony and cold. He smiled a bit at the boy’s abashed faces, trying to calm himself and put them at ease. “Besides, I don’t think that you guys even know my name.”

Jason wrinkled his brows. “You’re right. I don’t believe that we’ve properly introduced ourselves.” Jason held out a hand for him to shake, Percy smiled gratefully, glad to be moving away from the subject of Luke. “Hi. My name is Jason Grace.” He motioned a hand to Nico, who was holding a smirk on his face.  _ Man _ that smirk. “This is my extraordinary boyfriend, Nico di Angelo.” Jason cocked his head. “What’s your name?”

“Percy.”

“Just, Percy?

“No.”

“So are you going to tell us what your last name is or…”

“Jackson,” Percy smiled. “My last name is Jackson.”

Nico smiled wryly. “That would have been good to know last night, you know, when we rushed you into the hospital and we didn’t have a name to give the doctors.”

Percy scratched his head sheepishly, looking down for a moment. “Yeah, sorry about that. I think I left my wallet in my winter jacket, as well as my phone. Hopefully Luke took it inside last night.”

“That’s alright. We just called you “The Sleep Talker,” Jason joked, blue eyes twinkling.

“No.” Percy said, eyes widening, horrified. “I didn’t. Did I?”

“You did, but that’s alright. Nico kicks.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there it goes...


	3. Marble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! I was going to post sooner, but then I had to draw this picture and didn't want to post without it.  
> It's at the end and it isn't perfect either. Couldn't fix it the way I wanted to...

Percy got home late that afternoon. Nico and Jason had been wonderful hosts and wonderful people, but he had to decline their offer of a ride home as he didn’t think that it would fly with his overly jealous and possessive boyfriend. He did however allow them to give him their phone number and address. 

He liked the two men very much and was so amazed with their bond. It was something to be in awe of. They were so sweet to each other; gentle touches and tiny kisses and loving eyes. It was a lovely thing and it made Percy feel all melty inside. 

He passed fancy house after fancy house - yellow cab zooming past snowy lawns and empty driveways, cleared of any snow or ice. There were wreaths on the doors and Christmas trees could be seen through the clean windows. It was like a little dream.

After a few turns and a few long minutes, there were streetlights and stores and people walking around in beautiful coats and boots, toques knitted by some famous designer or something. They strode tall and importantly, bags upon bags laden in their arms, chauffeurs taking the brunt of the lifting and putting the packages into shiny cars. There were Christmas trees in the windows and on street corners, lacing the shopping district with a sort of sparkly feeling.

They drove past all this and continued on and on, passing by the luxurious community and moving on to something that could not be farther away from Jason and Nico’s reality.

It took over an hour, and the longer they drove, the more tense Percy felt he was becoming. There were no Christmas trees, no fancy boots, no feeling of amazement. Just cold, empty streets and rusty fire escapes that led up to homes of people who were down on their luck. The snow wasn’t cleared, there was ice on the roads and old trucks and jalopies parked against the curb.

The cab came to a stop along one of these curbs. Percy’s apartment building stood directly beside him. It was a red, brick building. The rock worn down after years of weathering. A door that was once presumably green, guarded the tenants entry into it. Paint peeling, wood scratched.

Percy reluctantly paid his driver with the money Jason had given to him. He had pressed the bills into Percy’s hand with such a look of determination that the other boy could come up with little argument.

He climbed out of the vehicle and hurried as quick as he could over the ice and to the fire escape at the back of the building. He didn’t have his key and Luke wasn’t there to pick the lock, so the door wasn’t an option. 

Wary of all the ice and snow and brittle metal, the boy climbed the rickety escape with practiced precision. The cold metal made his hands burn and he was still slightly disoriented from the subsiding effects of last nights’ wander in the dark. 

Still, he knew which steps to avoid and which bars were far from stable. Six floors up, he was met with the bedroom window. It was iced up a bit, but Percy managed to chip some of it off with his fingers and jiggle the sill until it made a loud cracking noise and opened with a bang. Percy winced at the noise before crawling inside. 

He set his feet down on the scratched vinyl floor, the snow on his sneakers melting onto the faux wood and creating a small puddle that traveled along the cracks. He watched the water for a while, eyes fixed, mind calm.

Then, a scraping noise shook him out of his trance.  _ So Luke is home _ , Percy thought. He pulled off his shoes and took off his hoodie, laying it on the twin sized bed. 

Part of him wanted to crawl under the blue comforter and hide from the world; but he knew that he’d have to face his boyfriend at some point, and hiding from things that scared him just wasn’t who he was.

He walked to the door that led into the living room and leaned his forehead against it, taking a breath before turning the knob.

It made a screeching noise.  _ Needs to be oiled again _ . And then, with a push, the door was open.

Percy strode slowly through the living room, between the threadbare couch and cracked, glass coffee table and past the entertainment centre that stood against the far wall. It wasn’t a long trip to get to the kitchen door, which was missing, leaving a wider than typical opening in the wall.

Luke was sitting at the kitchen table, nursing a cup of coffee.

No matter what problems they had, no matter what happened between them and whatever Luke had done to piss him off, Percy couldn’t help but see the man as beautiful.

Sitting so stoically, Percy could still see softness floating around his marble edges. Light filtered through the kitchen window. And tinted the world a blueish white. Dust particles danced sluggishly through the rays and disappeared at the edge of their lighted stage. Luke’s face was turned away, staring at the ticking clock on the wall. 

The faint light turned his unruly blonde hair into a pale gold that glowed and it only helped to paint a picture of what he was.

A marble, wingless angel.

He was tall and strong and broad and lithe and brittle at the same time. He was like the frozen fire escape. Great and beautiful and dangerous all at once.

Every Time Percy saw him, whether it was standing over him, eyes dangerous and broken, or watching him sip coffee while the steam climbed the air on invisible steps, he was left a little breathless.

“Hey, Luke.” Percy spoke, finally, his voice small and breaking.

“Hello, Percy.”

And then the spell was somehow broken and Percy was scared and alone on a dark highway again. Calling after Luke as he drove away, anger and aching on his face. 

Percy choked back a sob, but a tear still fell nonetheless and he had to bite his fist to try and stop more from coming.

“Damn It, Percy.” Luke stood up from his chair, striding towards the smaller man and wrapping his arms around him. Percy tucked his head into Luke’s collarbone and shook, choking sobs wracking his cold body.

“Percy, Percy, fuck, Percy. Why do you have to make me so mad?” He squeezed him tighter, pressing hard kisses against the top of Percy’s head. “Why do you drive me crazy?” Luke’s voice was gruff and exhausted, holding the smaller boy so that he was secure and safe and alright again.

“I’m sorry, Luke. I’m sorry.” It was all that Percy could think to say and it was stupid and unneeded, because he knew that none of this was his fault. 

He couldn’t stand it, though. He couldn’t. Couldn’t stand that Luke was upset and ashamed and that he had played a part in it. 

Part of him knew, had always known that this wouldn’t work between him. Percy had cried more often during his relationship with Luke than he had when his stepfather used to beat him and it wasn’t right. He knew it wasn’t right. But there was some sort of addiction there, something he just couldn’t let go of. 

He was in too deep, and he was already drowning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ta-Da!  
> http://flawsmakeusperfect.deviantart.com/art/Untitled-639769636  
> Sorry the image is sideways. Don't know how to fix that so...:)


	4. Sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here it is. I may add another drawing, once I get around to finishing it, but for now you must try to let the words sate you.  
> 

“Percy, these aren’t your pants.” Luke said, fingers playing with the waistband of the sweatpants the hospital had given him. Percy mentally swore at himself for not changing once he got home. Luke somehow found a way to notice anything.

“No, they’re not.” Percy sighed, readying himself for some major interrogation. “Seriously, Luke. did you think that I walked all the way back here?”

“Who did you go home with last night?” Luke’s fingers curled around Percy’s hip bones, digging into the flesh. Percy didn’t wince.

“I caught a ride with a couple of rich lesbians. They were nice enough to take me to the hospital after passed out from hypothermia.” Percy lied naturally, a skill he had learned over the years he spent with Luke.

“These people just happened to be lesbians?”

“Yes. Luke. It’s not like they’re hard to find these days.” When Luke didn’t look convinced, Percy quickly expanded his story, trying not to use to many details. “Look, Luke. it’s no big deal. They were driving back from a party, I had my thumb out, their DD saw me and pulled over. I was shaky and not very coherent, they figured something was up, so they took me in and made sure I wasn’t going to die. In the morning they gave me enough money for the cab ride home.”

Luke stared and stared at Percy. Watching him. Then his fingers softened on his hips.

“I’m sorry, Percy. I’m sorry I left you on the road last night. I was angry and jealous and I’m sorry.” Luke made his eyes soft and pulled the smaller boy close again, fingers rubbing circles on his hips. “I’m glad that you’re safe.”

Percy had heard it all before: “I’m sorry, I was jealous, I’m sorry I got mad, I’m sorry, but you do things to me. I’m sorry I hurt you, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Every time, they seemed genuine. He’d give him his soft eyes and sweet face and he’d worry at him and make it up to him all night.

And that’s what he did, just like Percy predicted.

He gave him beautiful sex and then he splurged on pizza with extra cheese and then he held him while they watched some crappy show on their cracked television. Percy forgave him.  _ Always  _ forgave him. But in the back of his head, all he could do was wait for it to spiral down again.

Luke never told him he loved him, although Percy said it every day until the words lost their meaning and Percy lost his mind. 

And although Luke had his arms wrapped around him and his mouth against Percy’s neck, he couldn’t have felt more disconnected and afraid.

__________________________

He was gone in the morning, which made perfect sense, his job took him away early and that often left Percy alone, his back cold with dry sweat and his eyes full of sleep.

After trying very hard to breathe and inhale some air that didn’t smell like sex, he crawled out of their creaky bed, his back popping as he did and walked over to their small, shared bathroom. 

He looked at himself in the mirror. Tired eyes and paler than normal face, hair in complete disarray, the few stands of white standing out against an otherwise pitch black background. He turned on the tap and rinsed off his skin as quickly as he could, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes roughly. His green eyes looked more awake, his skin just a little less gaunt.

Above the waistband of his loose sweats, he could could see little, finger shaped bruises on his hipbones. 

Shaking his head and blinking hard, Percy thought for a long moment as to whether he really needed to shower, or if he could wait a couple more days before racking up their water bill. Then he thought the hell with it, and stripped down anyways. His loose fitting sweat pants hit the floor and before he could think to much about repercussions, he hopped into to tub and turned the knob on the shower. 

Water hit quickly, before he could press himself against the wall to avoid the first splash of cold. He let out a gasp and then a breathless laugh, moving his body into the spray. 

It made him feel more awake, more sane, more alive. The water poured down, washing away dirt and sweat, traveling the long length of his body until it made it’s way around his toes and followed the stream that lead towards the drain.

It took him a long moment to remember why he was so sad and then to remember that he had to hurry up. Sighing long and sad, Percy ducked his head into the spray, using his long, slim and calloused fingers to be sure that all his hair was wet. He grabbed the shampoo and poured a dollop of it into his open palm before spreading it in his black, black hair.  Rinse, Conditioner, rinse, soap, rinse. He rubbed until his skin was pink and he felt so raw he was sure he could have been glowing. 

Then he turned off the tap, rested his head against the worn tiles and just breathed and breathed and breathed.

_____________________

Percy tapped his fingers like a mad  man as he waited for his subway to pull up. He was a bit chilly and a lot tired, but he had places to be.

While he waited, he pulled off his black McDonald's hat and stuffed it into his backpack before sliding out his bright blue eyeliner and placing it in his pocket, keeping it there for later use. He counted the tiles on the wall and listened with half an ear to the man who sat by a pillar, playing a scratchy sort of song on his guitar. 

Percy’s green eyes flickered, watching a pizza flyer float down the subway tunnel. His feet shuffled forward a bit, till he was peering over the edge, somehow really wanting to know what was going to happen to it. He heard the screeching of the rails and he could feel the air rushing down the tunnel and the flyer blew down the track, dancing frantically. Part of him wanted to follow it, the front of his feet teetering over the edge of the platform. Someone grabbed his arm and pulled him away from the edge as the train took the spot where Percy had been standing. 

“Fucking , kid.” someone swore, whacking him on the back of the head. The person disappeared into the subway and Percy had to blink a couple of times to get his brain working again. 

He shook his head as he climbed onto the train.

____________

The music pounded into his ears as he splashed some lime into some form of alcohol. In his opinion, he still smelled like cheeseburgers, but by the end of the night, he would smell like vodka and rum and cherries. He wasn't sure what was worse. 

He was wearing his eyeliner and had changed into a pair of skinny, dark blue jeans and a tight black T-shirt, his McDonald's outfit was tucked in his backpack, safe in the back room. He was under the belief that it brought him more business when he tried to represent some sort of sex god. It seemed to work, guys and girls alike buying drink after drink just to try to flirt. 

Of course, they became less and less attractive the drunker they got and although Percy was polite and flirted back, he was just there to mix drinks. 

Percy didn’t drink. He just didn’t. Call it childhood trauma, call it an olfactory sense dislike, call it what you want. He just didn’t drink.

Sometimes, he was actually tempted to take a swig of something, just to see what it felt like, what the hype was all about. Out of all the alcohol he served, he was pretty sure that vodka was the most appealing, while the scent of beer made him want to gag. But every time he thought of mixing himself something, he thought back to what it did to people. It was like cigarettes, like taking a snort of cocaine, like kissing Luke.

It seemed so innocent and inviting, promised you so much and all you could think was I can be stronger, I can do it once and then I can stop. 

But it was a dangerous game. Sometimes it took you and you could never find the place that you were before. Percy had been taken too many times. Not by drugs, not by nicotine, but by a man that he so wanted to quit. 

So he just smiled and put the bottle down.

“Percy?”

The voice startled him. He turned around from wiping down a glass to find the questioning eyes of his good Samaritans. He could tell he looked surprised because Nico looked like he wanted to laugh.

Percy tried to relax his face, he was sure that his eyes were larger than saucers. Once he accomplished that, he said quite dumbly: “Hi.”

“Hi.” Nico replied, smirking that extremely sexy smirk of his.

Jason smiled at Percy and he was very glad to see that it was full of adoration, sending his stomach fluttering for reasons other than hunger. “We didn’t know that you worked here!” Jason sounded rather happy, like he was trying hard to hide excitement. 

Percy grinned shyly. “Only Mondays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Sundays.” Percy said, going back to wiping down his glass.

“Damn It,” Nico said dryly. “And we only come here on Tuesdays.”

Jason snorted.

The man behind the bar excused himself for a moment, another customer catching his eye. He poured his drink quickly. It was something stiff, probably ordered it to look tough, Percy thought. The guy did did not look like a whiskey on the rocks kind of dude. His suspicions were confirmed when his eyes teared up and his face turned red as soon as he tried to take a larger than normal gulp of he stuff, coughing and sputtering. Percy smiled sympathetically, handing him a rag to cough into before mixing him a much fruitier drink. 

Jason and Nico had taken seats at the bar, patiently waiting for Percy to rejoin them. The man strode back to them, smiling bemusedly.

“We saw you shooting that man down,” Jason said and Percy could tell that he was trying not to laugh. “Does that happen often?” 

“You have no idea.” His eyes flickered down the bar again, the people were beginning to really pile up. “You guys need a drink?” 

“Just a coke, please.” Jason said, mouth quirking up in the corner.

“Me too,” Nico said, drawing waves on the bar with some condensation. 

Percy’s eyebrows went up. “My kinda guys.”

He slid them their drinks, one with ice, one without, before he excused himself.

As much as he would have liked to have stayed and talked to them, he still had a job to do.

Strangely, by the time his shift was over, which was at like, six in the morning, the two men were still at the club. They had danced and drank coke and eventually water, Percy kept up with everyone’s orders, trying to hear them properly over all the noise. Customers kept asking him for his number and he kept finding theirs in the tips that they left. When the club finally cooled down and was getting ready to close up, Percy had completely forgotten about his good Samaritans, having not seen them for quite a while.

He wrote down how much stock they had left, wiped up the bar and began placing the bar stools on their heads along the length of the now shiny counter. His arms were a bit sore from  all the shaking and mixing stirring he had done that night, but he ignored their slight throb, the muscles flexing slightly as he lifted the stools with ease.

He swept up a bit, righted things on the shelves and went into the back to grab his stuff, only to find the two men sleeping curled around each other on the small couch that Reyna kept in the room. They looked a bit disheveled and Percy could only guess what they were doing back here while they were waiting.

_ While they were waiting?  _

Okay, yeah, that didn’t make any sense. Why the hell would they have been waiting for him? Percy was torn between them being stalkers, them wanting him to pay up on the hospital fees, or them actually truly liking him. 

Weird.

It was a bit awkward standing there watching them sleep, but Percy wasn’t sure how he was supposed to wake them. They were literally wrapped around each other, like how a car would wrap itself around a tree. It looked like there was a competition on who got so hold the other tighter. He was pretty sure Jason had won. Jason was the car, Nico was the tree. Percy couldn’t help but laugh loudly at his own ridiculous analogy.

That woke the boys up.

“Holy shit what?” Nico said, eyes popping open and hitting his face against Jason’s arm in his haste to see what was going on. “ _ Fuck _ , ow!” Jason pulled him back down into his arms and made a couple of grumbly noises. Nico wrinkled his nose up and tried to push the bigger man off of him. “ _ Jason… _ ”

“Mmph.”

Percy quirked up the side of his mouth. “Does he always do that?”

“Yes.” Nico grumbled. “Excuse me for a sec. I have to flick my boyfriend in the head.”

“By all means.”

And Nico did. One big flick to the side of Jason’s head. Jason jumped up faster than Nico had, but his face had nothing to smack into. He scowled at the dark haired boy and yelled “Hey!” before Nico smirked again and pointed his face in Percy’s direction.

“Oh. Hi.” He looked embarrassed and Percy could understand that feeling.  

“What’s up?” Percy asked, rocking back and forth on his canvas shoes. Then he frowned. “Please tell me you guys weren’t back here necking through my entire shift.”

“Well,” Jason blushed. “Not the  _ entire _ time.” 

“Right.” He tried to hide the fact that he kinda liked that idea. “So, why are you two still here?” Percy pushed his hair back out of his face, just to have it flop right back. He felt awkward, standing there in front of the obviously happy couple currently sitting cuddled up on the employee couch. Then he had to wonder how these two got into this room. “How did you get in here?”

“One of your co- workers let us in. We told her that we were worried about you and she was cool with it.”

“Wow. Okay.” He pushed back his hair again. “Wait. You’re worried about me? Why”

Jason sat up a little more, his eyes kind and blue as the sky. “When you left after the ‘hitchhiker’ incident, you seemed really worried about Luke. We were just wondering if he hurt you or anything.” 

Nico’s eyes were on him, his semi-permanent smirk now gone, complete seriousness replacing it.

Percy shifted on his feet before taking a seat on the couch beside Nico. “I’m fine, we’re fine. He apologized, we ate pizza.” He paused for a moment. “I didn’t tell him that you two picked me up.”

“What? Does he think that you slid here on your belly like a penguin or something?” Nico looked a little disgruntled and disbelieving. Eyebrows pushed into a frown.

“I told him a group of lesbians picked me up and took me to the hospital.” Percy’s shoulders sagged, his hands splayed out, palms facing outwards. “I had to tell him something. He noticed that my pants were different.”

“That’s… impressive.” Jason said, his eyebrows going in the opposite direction of Nico’s. “You literally had to tell him that they we were lesbians?”

“Yeah. I know, it sounds ridiculous.” Percy began twiddling his thumbs absently, his leg beginning to shake a bit with hyperactivity.

“It doesn’t sound ridiculous. It sounds sad.” Nico folded his arms, leaning against the couch. Jason placed his arm over the back of the cushions, thumb rubbing little circles on Nico’s stubbly chin. It made Percy feel just a tiny bit more depressed than he was before. 

Jason seemed to notice the awkward energy around the black haired man and directed his kind face towards him.

“Come on.” He nudged them both, motioning to the door with his head. “Let’s get out of here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yeah. there you go. :)


	5. Sugar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for the wait, really, I am. I was actually hoping to get at least two chapters done before Christmas, but alas, life happened.  
> I know that this chapter is super short, but sometimes there has to be a cut off!!!  
> Thank you for your patience, I look forward to your feedback.

In Jason’s head, “out of here,” meant early morning Dunkin Doughnuts. Percy was stuck between absolute exhaustion, and complete alertness. It was a weird type of limbo and it made him feel giddy. He ordered a blueberry doughnut, his favorite because they were unbearably sweet and blue. Nico opted for the low key chocolate glazed cake doughnut, swearing that it was the best, while Jason decided on the sour cream doughnut. No one was against ordering a coffee, even though Percy knew he was going to regret it later when he laid down for his four hours of sleep. They talked about each other, asking questions and laughing. Well, mostly it was Nico and Jason who talked, Percy did do quite a bit of laughing. To be honest, Percy could see what these two were doing. Letting him take a back seat and just relax.

He was beginning to trust them. Smooth. Very smooth.

Percy sipped his coffee comfortably, listening to their babble and watching them lace their fingers together, Jason stealing bits of Nico’s doughnut. Percy told them his favourite colour(blue) and they told him their’s (Purple and black until Jason said black wasn’t a colour and Nico huffed and grunted out “Green, then. Happy?)” 

Percy snickered into his coffee, which was quickly cooling down. 

Percy checked his watch, it read 7 am. He had been up all night and he wasn’t even tired. “Hey, guys?”

Jason looked up first, from where he was picking up sugar bits from the table. He had some on his lips. “What?” His eyes were big and a little bit guilty after being caught in the act.

Percy tried to hide his smile. “Did you two know that I worked there? At the club? I’ve never seen you there before, and yet, you somehow randomly show up at my work after you save my life?” Percy shrugged, a little confused. “How does that even happen?”

Nico looked at Jason, a mischievous smile on his olive face. “Yes, oh lover of mine. How did that happen?”

The blond man looked even more guilty now. He licked his lips, getting the last bit of sugar off of them and shifted in his chair. “Well...I mean… okay. So, you know Reyna?”

Percy nodded.

“Well, I kinda, sorta know her too. We were friends when we were kids, we still are. Friends, not kids.” Jason stopped to elaborate. Nico rolled his eyes. “Anyways, so I told her about you.” 

Percy raised his brows in alarm, suddenly scared. 

Jason was quick to elaborate again, holding up his hands in defense. “Not about your situation or anything, just that we picked up a guy on the highway named Percy.”

He relaxed just a bit, sipping his now, thoroughly cold coffee. 

“It kind of came up during the conversation that she had someone called Percy working in her club, so I asked what times he worked there, you know, just to check it out-”

“Just to check  _ him  _ out, you mean,” Nico interrupted, leaning back and smirking.

Jason frowned, looking pointedly at his boyfriend before continuing his story. “Anyways, we found you and it was getting late and we figured that you wouldn’t have a lot of time to talk, so we asked Reyna if we could wait in the back.”

“And she actually let you?” Percy asked, surprised.

Jason shrugged meekly. “Yeah, well, she likes me. And believe it or not, she’s pretty fond of you too.”

Percy leaned back as far as he could, folding his arms and processing all of the information. After a long moment of leaving the two boys in complete suspense, he grinned and let out a huffing sort of laugh.

“You guys are stalkers.” His smile didn’t leave him. He didn’t think that it ever would. 

Jason and Nico looked at each other, looking a bit uncomfortable for a change. Percy liked how easily he could turn the tables.

He relented, deciding that it wasn’t very nice to let his good samaritans suffer. “Hey, you guys, it’s okay. It’s kind of sweet actually, that you wanted to check up on me.” Percy smiled a little bit more coyly. “I mean, if I’d met me, I’d want to check me out too.”

Jason laughed a little, easing up, Nico just smirked bemusedly, Percy wasn’t actually sure if the dude could laugh at all.

The three of them sat in silence for a while, just watching the sky light up outside, people starting to move around a little more. The door to the doughnut shop opened a few times, people lining up at the counter and getting breakfast and caffeine. 

Nico yawned. 

“So, did you two get any sleep before you came to stalk me?” Percy asked, curiously.

Nico frowned and rubbed his temples. “No.” He glanced at Jason and glared a bit. “Not that this guy would let me.”

“Okay, yeah, I don’t know what you’re implying, but I really don’t want to hear it,” Percy said, quickly covering his ears.

Nico chuckled darkly and took another sip of his black coffee. 

Percy buried his face in his hands.

“Did you get any sleep before work?” Jason asked tentatively, looking a bit concerned about the purple bags under Percy’s otherwise bright green eyes.

Percy shook his head. “I don’t sleep before my job at the club. I have other things to do. Actually, this is usually when I sleep.” Percy glanced down at his watch and frowned. It was seven thirty. That gave him about two hours to get home and wash his face, because really, the eyeliner was probably messed up by now and he didn’t want to show up at his day job looking like a guy who just got laid. That would not help with their code of sanitation. He also would like to sleep for a maybe a half hour and brush his teeth before heading out to the subway to get to work. 

“I should go. It’s getting late.”

“Dude, it’s like, seven thirty. How is that late?” Nico said, before covering his face. “Shit. Two morning people.”

Percy laughed and sipped his coffee, wrinkling his nose at its coldness. "Believe me, there is nothing I would like to do more right now then to sleep in. But, y’know. I have things to do.”

“More important things than eating doughnuts with us two charmers?” Jason joked, batting his lashes a little. He was a masculine looking guy and it seemed hilariously out of place on his strong face. 

Percy couldn’t help but smile and let out a loud laugh. 

Maybe he was more tired than he thought.

______________________

The two boys offered him a ride home, but Percy refused. Although he liked them and they had somewhat of an idea of what kind of place he would live in, he wasn’t about to show them everything.

So instead, he allowed them to walk him to the nearest subway station. The train would take him close to his apartment, but still not close enough for his tired feet to be relieved. 

As he descended the steps to go into the tunnels, he saw Jason and Nico intertwine their fingers and move closer together. 

His heart ached and suddenly, he could  _ feel _ the bruises on his hip burn. 

He stopped smiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yay! There you go!  
> I really should be essay-ing right now, but, honestly as of this moment I do not care.  
> At all.


	6. glass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a bit shorter, but sometimes a chapter simply has to end where it ends.

There were lights twinkling. Different coloured ones. Green and red and yellow, also blue. Percy liked the blue ones best.

Luke was putting the star on top of their small tree, the lights making his skin kaleidoscope colours.

It was moments like these where Percy felt the possibility of contentment. Luke smiled at him, it was his soft-ish one, warmish, but still playful, Percy didn’t really think he would ever be able to give him a completely honest smile. It wasn’t his nature.

The blonde man sat down next to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and pulling him closer. They had turned the lights off to better view the scraggly masterpiece that was their extremely cheap Christmas tree. Percy had hung some of his ornaments, too. Ones that his mother had given him for his first Christmas living on his own.

“So,” Luke said, his voice deep and very Luke-ish. “What do you think?” He turned to look at Percy, who looked small under a large blue blanket that he had wrapped around himself, covering the top of his head and tucked under his toes.

“I think it looks like shit,”Percy snickered. “I _love_ it.”

Luke laughed deeply, somewhere in his chest. Percy could feel it through the blanket. At that moment, he felt happy with Luke. He was warm and was big enough that Percy could feel like he was being enveloped by him, held tight enough to stay steady. The lights were twinkling, so were Percy’s eyes.

They sat there complacently for a while, admiring their handiwork. They were breathing almost in synch. Percy pointed that out and then frowned when he realized that by using his air to talk, he’d messed up the rhythm.

The bigger man pulled the blanket from off of Percy’s head and planted a kiss in his fluffy, black hair, chuckling as he stood.

“Where are you going?” Percy asked, watching him step between Christmas boxes.

“To the kitchen. Do you want some hot chocolate?”

“Hell, yeah,” Percy said, excited. “Can I have marshmallows?”

“If we have any,” Luke chuckled, disappearing through the messed up doorway. A little bit of light flooded through the opening, casting shadows. Percy watched them, smiling. He knew it was a little late to start hardcore decorating, but damn it, he wanted to cover everything in sparkles and lights and popcorn strings. A thought crept into his head, a hopeful thought. And he didn’t give it much consideration before blurting it out and asking Luke as soon as he turned the corner with the two steaming mugs of hot chocolate.

“Do you think we could go see my mom this year? You know, for Christmas? I think she’d really like that. I’d really like that.”

Luke stiffened and Percy knew immediately that they weren’t going to go to bed happy. The blonde man walked towards him slowly and sat down, he wasn’t close this time and when he handed Percy his hot chocolate, he didn’t let their fingers touch.

There was a single, fluffy, white marshmallow bobbing on the surface. Percy stared at it. He didn’t want to look at Luke’s eyes, scared of what he might find there.

“Percy.” Luke’s voice was a little bit gruff, but he could tell that he was going to try to be nice and let him down easy. “Percy, you know that your family doesn’t like me. They never have. Do you really want this Christmas to be filled with sour looks and jabs at our relationship?”

“Well, no, but-”

“But what, Percy? But what? Do you think that they’re just going to give in and accept that I’m your boyfriend? That I love you? That I’d never hurt you? I mean, _you_ know that, but do they? Better yet, _could_ they? They’ve never given me a chance. Never given us a chance!” Luke’s voice was getting increasingly louder. Percy wanted to cover his ears and scream. “Think about it, Percy,” Luke continued. “What has your family ever done for us?”

Percy opened his mouth to answer, but Luke answered for him.

“Nothing, Percy. They’ve done nothing.”

The dam broke then and Percy finally did speak.

“For _fucks_ sake Luke. _Why_ do you think that _everyone’s_ out to get you? Either it’s my parents that don’t like you, or it’s my friends. I mean, you and Annabeth used to be _close_ , for god's sake!”

“Annabeth made her choice. She doesn’t care about us anymore. Why do you think she left?”

“Maybe because she’s going to architecture school in San Francisco?” Percy spat. “Maybe because she has a _life_ and it doesn’t solely revolve around the two of us? I mean, how the _fuck_ is she supposed to stay in touch with either of us, if you fucking blocked her number? I mean really! I haven’t talked to her in _two_ years because you didn’t want me to! Hell, you decided that I couldn’t see Grover either, because you figured that he wanted to get into my pants, even though he has a _girlfriend_ and we’ve been best friends since the sixth grade!

So _fuck_ you for telling me that I can’t see my parents, or my friends or go out by myself just because I want to. I can’t believe that you would think that I would ever leave you, when I’ve given away everything I had to live for for your sake. You are all I have, Luke, and I love you. But I also _hate_ the fact that you don’t trust me and that you’re not willing to let me see my parents just because they don’t like you.”

Luke slammed his mug of hot chocolate onto the already cracked glass of the coffee table.There was a crunching noise and liquid shot out of the mug, landing on the floor as well as Percy’s blanket.

Luke stood. His face was terrifying, but Percy tried so hard not to look scared.

“If you want a Christmas, then go and have a fucking Christmas. Because we are not having one here.” Luke gave a solid swipe against the Christmas tree and Percy watched in numb horror as it tipped and fell harshly and forcefully onto the floor. The lights went out, and many of Percy’s glass ornaments shattered on the floor.

He didn’t even wince when he felt shards fly both onto and into his feet.

Before Percy could turn his eyes to Luke’s face, just to see if Luke could tell that he was breaking him, the older man was gone. Slamming the apartment door shut behind him.

Percy stared at the spiderweb of cracks that surrounded Luke’s mug, watching hot chocolate drip onto the floor. Then he glanced at the little bleeding scratches on his feet.

He watched his fluffy, white marshmallow melt slowly until it was almost nothing and then waited until his drink was cold to the touch.

Then he stood, stepping carefully over the Christmas tree and hobbling into the kitchen, where he poured his drink into the drain and grabbed a pair of tweezers to pick the glass out of his foot. After that, he packed the tree away and swept up the shards that scattered on the floor. He wiped up Luke's drink, placing the cracked mug in the garbage. Then he took his blue blanket and brought it down to the laundry room.

By the time Percy finished doing what he was doing, it was around midnight. When Luke got back, there would be nothing to remind him of what he had done. Nothing except for the cracks on the coffee table and the empty wall where there had once been a small Christmas tree with green and red and yellow and blue lights.


	7. Midnight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm terribly sorry for the long wait.  
> This is not my best work, I'm not very happy with this chapter, but here it is.

Percy glanced at his watch as he stood awkwardly outside of Jason and Nico’s door. Their lights were on and he could hear what sounded like a party from behind the doors. He felt stupid. Very stupid. What was he doing? He hadn’t seen the two men since that night at the club and he couldn’t even remember why he had decided that New Year’s Eve was a good time to drop off Christmas presents. He clutched the shiny, red gift bag tighter and lifted his fist to knock, winced and put his arm down again. “This is stupid,” He said aloud. He crouched to place the bag on the doorstep, reasoning that Jason and Nico would find it eventually- when the door opened.

“Hello.”

Percy looked up, startled, and his eyes met with lovely golden ones. Her face was soft and brown, her hair floated like a curly cloud. Percy couldn’t help but meet her gentle smile with one of his own.

“Hi.” He stood, lifting the gift bag as he did so. He scratched the back of his neck nervously, gave an awkward laugh and started to explain. “I’m sorry to bother you, but I was just dropping this off for Jason and Nico-”

“Oh! Don’t worry, I’ll go get them.”

Then she was gone from the doorway. Percy could see others inside, some of them peeking around walls to get a good look at him. He could feel himself shrinking back from all their gazes and all he wanted to do was leave the bag, turn tail and head back home. 

Then Jason’s face was in the doorway, he was smiling, Nico close behind him. Before Percy could explain, Jason grabbed a fistful of Percy’s baggy hoodie and dragged him inside. 

________________

 

The next few moments were a flurry of introductions and handshakes. 

There was tall, buff man with a kind and awkward smile, called Frank and his wife whom he had met at the door, Hazel. They owned a horse ranch outside of the city and the idea struck a cord in Percy’s head, but he couldn’t recall where he had heard about it until Nico told him that Hazel was his half sister. Right, that had been mentioned before, while he was falling asleep in their truck.

Reyna was there, which was a bit awkward, but she just nodded at him and didn’t mention anything about the Luke situation.

Then there was Leo, Jason’s hyperactive best friend who wore many different expressions throughout the evening, from fake innocence, to plotting. Percy liked him instantly.

He met Piper next, who he recognized from a brief encounter at the bar a few months back. She was introduced as Reyna’s girlfriend. That explained all the devious and wayward looks they had shared that night at the bar.

Percy got to meet Will, Jason and Nico’s friend, as well as health care professional and realized that this was the Will they were arguing about while Percy was passing out.

Percy smiled awkwardly at them all, shaking hands and trying to hide how overwhelmed he felt.

But they were all very nice to him and took him in as if he was a stray cat that needed nurturing.

That night, he laughed a lot, turned down offers of alcohol and got to know all the people in Jason and Nico’s life. Percy frowned when he realized that he couldn’t remember the last time he talked to this many people for such a long period of time. It was strange how isolated he had become, living with Luke. He didn’t go out, except in the case of his two jobs, otherwise, he only ever went out  _ with  _ Luke. They usually shopped for groceries together, and he could always feel Luke trying to intimidate the clerks behind the counters, like they were going to reach over the check out and steal his boyfriend. Percy had started to leave on his own, trying to get a little peace while buying milk. 

This was nice, and it was sad how it didn’t feel normal.

__________________________

Leo found him in the kitchen, standing in a corner and nursing a glass of water. 

“Lemme guess. Reyna scares you.” Leo smiled in a conspiratorial way, leaning against the counter next to him.

Percy couldn’t help but smile back. 

“No.” Percy said. “No, Reyna doesn’t scare me. At, least, not so much that I’d hide from her.”

“Really?” Leo said, raising an eyebrow before smiling conspiratorially again. “I hide from her all the time.”

Percy laughed and put down his water, shifting from foot to foot. Leo was nice. For some reason, Percy felt like he could confide in him. He ducked his head a little, looking at his sneaker clad feet. “I’m sorry. It’s just that, I really shouldn’t be here. I only came to drop off a gift. I feel like an intruder.” When Percy had shyly offered the two boys the gift bag, Jason had just smiled gratefully and tucked it under the Christmas tree that was still standing in their immense, carpeted living room. It was pretty, with lots of golds and silvers and coloured lights.

Leo wrinkled his nose. “Oh god. I know what you mean. Like, when Jason and Piper got together in high school, I always felt like a third wheel.”

Percy’s eyebrows shot up. “Piper and Jason used to date?”

Leo laughed at his expression. “I know! Weird, right? It was like we were the three musketeers, always getting into trouble- well, except Jason. He was usually there to make sure no one got hurt- but then the flirting started happening and the looks and then suddenly it was like I was invisible. It was gross.”

“Wow,” Percy said, his eyebrows still up. “I guess I’m like, the ninth wheel now.”

Leo patted his back comfortingly with a sad expression on his face. “If you come by more often, I’m sure that you won’t feel that way eventually. Everyone here likes you. You’re like this mysterious person whom everyone wants to know about. Once they get to know you, it’ll be like you’re part of the family.”

Percy wasn’t sure if he liked that idea, but he gave Leo a reluctant half smile, full of nervousness and uncertainty, and followed him out to the rest of the crowd. 

________________

Percy stayed past midnight. He had fun, he really did. He liked all of Jason and Nico’s friends, and they seemed to like him too.

Of course, it was a little awkward when midnight did come around. Every couple in the room allowing a few moments to smoosh their lips together, ringing in the new year. 

Percy sat, thinking again. Luke and him did this last year, watching the ball drop in Times Square. 

He was dragged out of his thoughts when, Leo, decided to smoosh his lips to Percy’s cheek in a friendly, only people here without a date, sort of kiss. Percy laughed and wrapped his arm around his shoulder, returning the favour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing has been flowing from me lately. It's been a tough month or so, and I haven't had the time, nor energy to write anything.   
> Good news is that after three months of practice, I won silver in a cooking competition, so that's why I'm been too busy to write.  
> Bad news is is that I had to have my cat put down in March. He was only one and a half years old. So, emotionally, I just haven't been able to wrap my head around things lately.   
> I hope this will tide you guys over until the next chapter.  
> I'm not going to stop writing, but it may take me a bit longer than usual to get things out.  
> I have to practice for another competition, so I'll be very busy as well, once again.


	8. Waves

Percy was lying beside Jason and Nico, their heads stuck underneath the Christmas tree.

Everyone else had gone to bed, houses to far away to get to when it was three o’clock in the morning and people had been drinking. Nico and Jason's house was pretty massive, so it wasn’t hard to find places to sleep.

Percy watched Jason drag his hand across the carpet and grasp Nico’s hand, rubbing his thumb against the back of it. Nico let out a pleased hum and gave Jason a sleepy smile.

Percy turned his head away to stare back at the underbelly of the tree. He stared at a single bulb until he had to blink, focusing on the spots and feeling his retina’s burn.

Jason and Nico were both wearing their new scarves, the ones Percy had brought them. Both of the were soft and plush. Jason’s was a deep purple, long and wide. Nico’s was the same fabric, but striped black and green. It had cost a quite a bit of money for the two of them, but Percy couldn’t have cared. Partly to spite Luke, mostly because he wanted to, Percy also purchased two Dunkin Doughnuts gift cards at twenty dollars a pop.

“So, what did you do for Christmas this year?” Jason asked, his voice sounding rough.

Percy laughed awkwardly, turning his head away. “Nothing too interesting, how about you guys?”

Nico chuckled. “Our parents came over, which is weird, because they don’t actually care that much about anything except their jobs and almost hate each other. It was a little bit awkward, but, you know, it’s good to know that they care, at least a little bit.”

“Yeah,” Jason broke in. “You never know what’s going to happen when the parents come out. Especially when they don’t approve of your career choices.”

That gave Percy pause. “What _do_ you two do anyway?” He asked, turning his head so that they could see his puzzled face.

Nico laughed. “I forgot that we never told you.” Then he sighed. “Of course, I’m a lawyer. Couldn’t escape that road. My family has been in the whole lawyering business for years and years. The only difference is that I choose my cases. My father doesn’t really approve of that. He would love for me to defend a few of his clients. The problem is is that quite of few of them are scumbags.”

“Oh,” Percy replied, suddenly remembering that he had heard the di Angelo’s named uttered over the news once in awhile when Luke and him had been able to pay the cable bill.

“I work with Leo. We’re a couple of entrepreneurs, actually. I’m  working on ways to help reduce carbon emissions and create new ways to run things on electricity. Leo designs and builds and tests out mechanisms that could harness my ideas. We’ve also been attempting to get more use out of wind energy. Sometimes all he has to do is change a few things on something that already exists. We’re completely green. We’re selling our products to larger companies right now, but we’re hoping that we’ll be able to sell to smaller businesses soon.”

Percy’s eyes had gotten impossibly wide by the time Jason finished talking, obviously passionate about what he does. “Holy shit.” Was all Percy could say in reply.

Suddenly it wasn’t a mystery as to why these two men could live where they lived and buy what they bought.

“My dad doesn’t think it’s too cool. He’s bitter because he wanted me to take over his business. But of course then he’d have to explain the fact that I’m his bastard son.” Percy heard a tired sort of anger in Jason’s voice. It sounded as if this was a long suffering tension between father and son. One that had been talked about much too often.

“Don’t worry, Jason. I’m a bastard too.” Percy whispered quietly from under his section of the tree.

He was startled when he felt Jason reach over and interlock their hands, giving him a small, reassuring smile.

Percy wanted to cry.

“Fuck, Jason.” Nico said, sounding annoyed and sliding out from under the tree. Percy jumped, quickly pulling his hand away like Jason’s was a hot coal. Jason didn’t seem abashed, just annoyed at being pulled out of his sleepy state.

“What, Nico?” Jason pushed himself out from under the tree to watch as Nico disappeared out of the living room and begin walking up the stairs. Realization dawned in his eyes and he grabbed the glasses that he had left on the floor, pushing them onto his nose. “Stay, right here.” Jason held up his hands like he was telling a dog to heel, before realizing how that looked and lowering them. Blushing and looking flustered, Jason made a multitude of awkward movements before huffing and following his boyfriend up the stairs.

Percy waited for a long three minutes in their living room, afraid that Nico was going to be angry at Jason for holding his hand. It was a stupid thought, Percy knew. Nico was nice, just as nice as Jason was. He would know that Jason was just trying to be a good friend. Still, he worried.

Then, he did hear some yelling-but it didn’t sound like either of the two men. After a moment, the yelling stopped, and he heard a door slam. Jason and Nico rushed down the stairs together, looking both scared and amused.

“What?” Percy asked, his curiosity piqued.

“Reyna was sleeping in our room.” Jason said. “We woke her up.”

Nico looked at him seriously, hands behind his back. “There’s always hell to pay when that happens.” His serious mask cracked and he grinned wryly instead. He pulled his hand from behind himself, holding out a tiny silver gift bag with a blue bow tied to the handles.

Percy raised his eyebrows, surprised and spared a glance at Jason who motioned for him to take it with sparkling eyes. Percy allowed his strong, tanned hand to grip the handle and pull it towards himself. Jason and Nico sat down on the floor next to each other, unconsciously intertwining their hands again. Percy thought it was sweet.

“Go on, open it,” Jason said. His face was bubbling with a childlike exuberance. Nico looked as mysterious as always, his quiet, wry smiles making him constantly look like he knew something that others did not.

Percy gave them both an exasperated sigh and a gentle glare of annoyance, but he couldn’t help but feel a grin bubbling up onto his face.

He ran his fingers over the ribbon before tugging on the end, it fell into his lap in a wave of movement, making him think of the ocean.

“We wanted to give this to you when we were alone. I know that our friends can be slightly overbearing.” For a second, Jason looked  sheepish. “But we got sleepy and almost forgot.”

Percy reached into the bag, and pulled out a small, dark wooden box. There was an engraving on the top of it- a little sun with rays reaching out to the edges. He opened it and took a sharp, shallow breath.

“You mentioned that you loved water- the ocean in particular,” Nico started, giving him a quiet smile. “And we knew that it had to be something small, something you could hide when your boyfriend was around, so when we saw it, we just, thought of you.”

It was a pendant, small and round. It was bronze with a curling, blue wave that swept across the bottom half. The chain was leather, the metal was cool to the touch. It was beautiful. Percy could have cried.

“It’s beautiful.” Percy sounded out of breath, he swallowed down a lump in his throat, blinked his eyes.

“It looked like something you would like, it felt like you.” Nico’s smile was still on his face, Percy knew that it was genuine.

Then Percy did start crying. Fucking, fuck. He did not deserve these people. He didn’t deserve people who listened to what he said and then bought him some thoughtful gift because of it. He didn’t deserve to be sitting here on the carpeted floor next to two people who obviously loved each other and didn’t need some fucking moronic dude invading their home and making a fucking nuisance of himself. He should be at home, sitting on the bed in the dark, watching frost grow on the window. He shouldn’t be here, he shouldn’t let these two give him gifts. He didn’t deserve it.

“Hey.” The two young men were suddenly beside him, worried hands brushing his biceps. “Percy, Percy what’s wrong?” Jason asked, his voice heavily weighed with concern and an edge of panic. He felt Nico sit down in front of him, but kept his face hidden behind his hands. He was ashamed of the tears that were falling. He felt weak and tired and really, really stupid.

These guys were concerned for him, they had given him a beautiful gift and here he was, crying in their living room.

Percy wiped his eyes roughly on his sleeve. “God. Guys, I’m sorry. This is wonderful.” He wiped his eyes again. “You guys are wonderful. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Nico said, thumb brushing away a stray tear as Percy looked up to face him, knowing that he must be blotchy as hell. Nico’s eyes turned stern and serious once again as he repeated Jason’s question. “What’s wrong?”

Percy felt a laugh bubble up in his chest, it felt bitter as it made its way to his mouth, but came out sounding a lot more crazy when it reached the surface.

“It’s nothing, you guys, honestly.” Nico gave him a look. Percy let out a long sigh, seeing that the men were not going to  let him drop the subject. He wiped his eyes once more and his nose made a sniffle sound. “It’s just that, this is the nicest thing that anyone’s done for me in a long while. It’s kind of been a crappy month.

Jason asked from beside him: “Why?”

Percy shifted, he didn’t want to tell them everything, but if he didn’t tell them, who the hell was he ever going to tell?

“Luke and I didn’t celebrate Christmas this year. Actually, he got pissed off and knocked down our tree, broke the coffee table again and basically told me to go fuck myself.” Percy let out another laugh- more bitter sounding this time. “Not that I needed to. He went off, got drunk and did it himself when he got back. He wasn’t home on Christmas eve, or Christmas day, so I decided to go over to my mom’s place I found out that she and Paul went to visit some relatives for the holidays.” He rubbed the heels of his hands against his face. “I guess they thought  that they wouldn’t be seeing me anyways.” Percy let out a frustrated huff, looking hurt and a little bit broken. “So not only am I a bad boyfriend to Luke, I’m _also_ an asshole of a son to my mother, whom I haven’t seen in months.” He looked up and was met with two very concerned and shocked boys, Nico’s mask was nowhere to be found. “And now you two are here, being so _nice_ and you don’t even seem to care that I fucking work at Mcdonalds and that I didn’t even have the decency to call before I came over.”

“Holy fuck.” this time, it was Jason, swearing with a fervour that Percy had never heard come from him before.

Then there were arms around him from both sides, warm bodies that seemed to be creating a wall of limbs and chests around his form. He suddenly became aware that he was shaking.

“Maybe it’s true that we don’t know you well enough to give you relationship advice, but shit, I don’t care.” Nico said, breath warm against his ear. “Please just dump the fucking douche-bag already. It’s not you who’s messing up your family life. Damn it, it’s him.” Nico squeezed him tighter, Jason followed suit.

It was touching, but Percy knew deep in his heart, that it simply wasn’t that easy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So guys, I did it! Not only did finish this chapter, but since the last time I posted, I managed to come in second place at provincials! Two silver medals and I didn't even do my eggs right.  
> I've read all your comments and they almost made me cry. Honestly, I have to thank you from the bottom of my heart. You people have proven to be great friends, and I've never even met you.  
> Thank you for all your support, I couldn't have done this without you guys. Truly, you people are fantastic.  
> Sorry for the wait,  
> I hope you enjoyed.  
> Ps. I don't think that Jason's job is a thing, I just made it up so he could be rich.


	9. Melting

Loving Luke was like standing under a shower head. 

You see, at first, the water is warm and you’re content. You don’t mind the bullshit and the slight anger that passes through his eyes once in awhile. But then, you do start to get tired of it, the water starts to feel cold. So, you try to up the ante- you don’t feel like getting out. You’ve already fallen in love.

You turn up the water, it’s warm again, then same thing happens. You get cold. 

Rather than give up and leave, you turn the water up until it’s so hot that it burns. 

But it feels good.

Painful, but good.

You get used to the pain and suddenly, you’re just deliciously warm. Numb, even.

You don’t realize that the water is killing you. 

You just let it burn.

_________________________

 

The frost sucked the life out of everything. Like a creature of the undead squeezing out every drop of blood that pumped through the earth. It’s great jaws reaching deep and radiating cold. The trees were bare, and even though it was nearing the end of January, the world still hadn’t managed to wake itself enough to sigh out warmth. 

Percy sat on the step outside his apartment, feeling peeved off and disgusted. Luke had locked the window to their bedroom and Percy had once again- forgotten his keys inside the building, along with his phone. It was still slippery out, so he wasn’t about to risk shimmying along the outside of their building to get to another window. He didn’t need to break an arm.

There was a slight chance that Luke had locked the window on accident- simply forgetting that Percy forgot his keys often and needed the window unlocked. 

There was an even greater chance that Luke did it on purpose.

He had been coming home drunk lately. Smelling like all the things that Percy mixed at the bar. He hated it. The smell of alcohol on his breath as he leaned in towards him- tipping back and forth with a lazy smile on his fucked up face. Percy didn’t want him to kiss him- not when he was like this. He didn’t want to taste the alcohol on his tongue. 

So last night, he had pushed him away. Told him that he didn’t want it. They went to bed in icy silence, even as Percy tried to redeem himself with coffee, water and Advil.

“Fuck this.” Percy stood up from the step and attempted to rub some feeling back into his backside, which was numb from the cold. He wasn’t going to spend his day off sitting on his own steps. He kicked at an icy pebble and began long strides down the street, walking through the shady neighborhood with a practiced swagger.  _ I don’t have to wait here for Luke to come open the door. This is fucking New York. I can do anything I want. _

The voice in his head was determined, his feet sure, his shoulders set strong. He could do anything. He paused in his walking for a brief moment, crinkling his brows as a thought him.  _ As long as it doesn’t involve money. _ And then he kept walking.

_________________

Percy mostly did sightseeing, walking down Fifth Avenue and taking in the massive piece of history that was the Empire State Building before making his way to New York Harbor to view the Statue of Liberty from afar. He walked through Central Park and pet dogs, because _man,_ did he love dogs. He sat on the steps of the Met and ate a lovely, mustard covered hot dog.

When Luke called his cell phone, he hit dismiss every time.

______________

By the time Percy got back, everything was dark, his feet were sore and the iciness of the world felt a little more refreshing.

He was sweaty and giddy and he was wearing a Lady Liberty foam hat. After living in New York all his life, it was fun to act like a tourist.

He  _ had _ spent just a little bit of money during his gallivanting, stopping to look inside shops and buying a small box of fresh, cookie dough fudge. He thought that maybe it could be a peace offering, that Luke and him could share some like they used to back in high school, under the bleachers where Percy idolized Luke right up to their first kiss.

That was the taste Percy liked best on Luke, cookie dough and sweet memories. 

Percy texted Luke to tell him he was home, telling him that he had forgotten the keys. After a few seconds, Percy heard footsteps inside the building, then someone was turning open the lock.

Luke’s face was unreadable as he looked Percy up and down. He took in the hat, then his cold, blue eyes grazed over Percy’s face, which was earnest and covered in a face painting that consisted of a happy dolphin riding the waves. He barely spared a glance at the bag of fudge in Percy’s hand.

What was so scary about Luke, was that he was unpredictable. Percy was never sure if the man was going to question him about things and let him try to defend himself, or if he was simply going to leave him on the side of a highway when he got pissy. Pissy did seem to be his general mood nowadays.  


Luke turned fluidly away from him and began to climb up the first flight of stairs. Percy followed, feeling uneasy.

They turned the first corner without a word. The hall was eerily quiet. None of the tenants seemed to be making any noise tonight.

They headed up the next flight, Percy was sure that he would be getting the silent treatment tonight.

During the walk to the sixth floor, Percy began to get a feeling of dread, deep in his stomach. He couldn’t catch a glimpse of Luke’s face, but a part of his was sure that there wasn’t anything there but cold eyes and thin lips.

He opened their door without a word and dropped the keys on the counter of their small kitchen. Only a few of the lights were on, the living room lay in darkness, but for a single lamp. Everything looked normal, smelled normal too- like old coffee and dust.

When the back a Luke’s hand connected with his jaw, Percy stumbled back against the door, his eyes stunned and horrified. 

Luke towered over him, even though they were only a few inches apart in height. His face was hard and almost could have been been mistaken for emotionless. But Percy could see the anger in his eyes and it terrified him. Another hit came, this one was full palmed and hit him on the cheekbone. He bit his tongue on accident and tasted blood. He saw stars, and not in a good way. The bag of fudge in his hand landed with a thump on the floor.

Suddenly, Percy was small again. Six years old and alone with his stepfather, a fist in his stomach, where his mom wouldn’t see.

Luke’s voice brought him back to the present, but it wasn’t much of a reprieve. His mouth smelt like alcohol.

_ At least it didn’t smell like beer. _

“Where the fuck were you today?” He didn’t wait for an answer. “Why the fuck did you not answer my calls?” 

His face was no longer impassive, but the kind of angry you could split trees with.

“WHO THE FUCK GOT THIS CLOSE TO YOUR FACE?”

Luke grabbed his stinging jaw in his big, angry hands and pushed his thumb into the skin of his cheek. He smeared the face painting, marring the dolphin’s smile. His fingernail caught on his skin halfway through the swipe and the smile was replaced by a long, red grimace. Percy cried out in pain and forcefully turned his head away. It felt like Luke’s thumb was going to scrape his bones.

Luke’s fist slammed into the door behind Percy with a deafening bang, his ear throbbed.

Percy’s hands scrambled for the knob on the door-twisting it, fingers fumbling weakly. This wasn’t like Luke. Luke had never hit him, Percy didn’t think he ever would-ever could, hit him. He almost fell backwards when the door opened, stumbling into the hall.

Percy’s feet twisted up underneath him as he made it to the stairs, running in blind panic from the man that he loved. He fell down the stairs, twisting his ankle and landing hard on his elbow. It went numb and Percy yelped.

He was up again, taking on the next flight of stairs and the next, until he was standing outside the apartment building, trying to catch his breath. But the night felt colder than he remembered and every scared breath he took, felt like knives in his throat.

He stood on the sidewalk, favouring his uninjured foot and gripping his elbow for what felt like eternity. He was so wrapped up in his own thoughts, that he hardly noticed Luke coming down the steps, headed cautiously towards him.

Strong arms wrapped around his waist, a warm nose nuzzled against his neck.

Percy stood tense, wanting to bolt, but not being able to. His instincts told him to melt against the strong body behind him.

But he resisted.

Luke had hurt him. 

Percy wasn’t going to forgive. 

Then Luke said it.

“I love you.” 

Percy was so shocked at his words that he forgot all about his self preservation.

He made a choking noise.

“What?”

“I love you. Percy, I’m sorry. I love you.”

The words were uttered quietly, they sounded  _ so _ sincere.

He didn’t know whether or not he should laugh, or cry or kiss him, or spit in Luke’s face. He didn’t know whether to believe him or not.

All he knew, was that he was cold.

Luke had said the words he’d been craving.

So he let Luke turn up the heat.

So he melted.

So he let himself burn.


	10. Cherries

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!  
> So, I'm sorry.  
> Both for taking so long and that crappy fic inbetween.  
> I have been distracted by Spideypool and I can't keep a schedule. So, um... sorry.

Percy wasn’t sure why he was sitting on the roof. He never was much for heights, and it would be so easy to tip forward just a little bit more. It would be so easy to tumble off. Headfirst. He wondered if he would scream as he fell, or if he would feel calm as it happened. Offhand he wondered if the fall would be enough to kill him, or if he’d have to wait a while once he hit the ground.

He swung his legs over the side, letting his feet get a feel for gravity’s weight. If he shifted forward, just a couple of inches, he was sure that he would lose his balance.

He almost  _ did _ lose his balance when his cell phone started to ring. 

He flailed his arms around briefly before catching himself on the ledge and shifting so that his feet were planted firmly on the roof. He reached into his jacket, searching for his phone and shaking slightly due to his near death experience. 

 

He slid into a chair across from Jason and Nico, plopping down a (fresh?) cup of dunkin doughnuts coffee onto the table in front of him and peeled  off the lid. Then he pulled a few little packets of sugar in his sweater pocket and he opened five of them simultaneously, before pouring it all into the cup and giving it a stir. He glanced up to observe the horrified expressions of his lunch companions. He gave them an amused smile.

“What?”

“Are you trying to stop your heart?”

“Maybe…?” 

Jason smacked his arm playfully. 

“That’s not funny.”

Nico frowned, then reached out and touched Percy’s face with gentle fingers. Percy blushed at the contact, before remembering how his face must have looked.

“What happened?” Jason’s voice was soft, concerned. Percy knew that he’d have to tell them something, before they jumped to conclusions (the right conclusions, but still…).

“I had to break up a bar fight last night.” Percy placed his face in his palms and rubbed his eyes with their heels. “Fuck...I hate drunk people.” At least that part was true.

Jason wrinkled his nose. “Dude, I know.” Nico’s hand slipped away from Percy’s face to wrap smoothly around Jason’s open palm. 

Percy’s eyebrows rose just a tiny bit in surprise. Oh.

He decided to steer the conversation into safer waters, wanting to avoid any triggers.

“So, what did you two want to see me about?”

Jason shrugged. “Nothing much.” He smiled. “Just wanted to see you.”

He must have looked confused, because Nico snorted and leaned back in his chair.

“Is it really that hard to believe?”

“Yes,” Percy deadpanned, which earned him a playful hit on his arm and a pretty, blue eyed, smiling huff from Jason.

“Well it shouldn’t be. You’re definitely a  _ really _ nice dude. And you’re  _ really _ good looking, so that helps.”

“Are you flirting with me, Jason? Dude, that is  _ so _ inappropriate. You do realize your boyfriend is sitting next to you.”

Nico sat forward with an easy, boxer removing, smile. “It’s alright. I completely agree.”

The complete seriousness of his voice made Percy blush.

“Anywaaaays.” Jason interrupted Nico’s underwear stealing stare, “You have any plans for tonight?”

“Do you have any ulterior motives for tonight?” Percy countered, raising a black eyebrow.

“Probably, but all you have to do is safe-word and we won't make you eat Jason’s cooking.”

A laugh burst out of Percy, the first real one in over a week, and the smile that lifted his face actually made his cheeks hurt.

“What’s the safe-word?”

“Clams, obviously.”

“Obviously.”

“So, do you have any plans?”

Percy ducked his head and absentmindedly brushed his hair back behind his ear, which was becoming increasingly unruly. “Well, um, I dunno. What did you guys want to do?”

“Dinner and a movie?”

Percy shifted in his seat. “That sounds an awful lot like a date.”

Jason smiled at him in that soft way again. “It’s not a date. We just figured that you could use a break.”

Percy furrowed his eyebrows. “A break from what? Besides. I have work tonight. It’s not like I can call up Reyna and be like: “Yo, boss, Can I take the night off because I want to go on a platonic- not- date tonight with two of your best friends?”

Nico literally snorted so hard he choked on coffee. He grabbed his face, coughing. “Shit! That  _ burns!”  _

Jason frowned as he absentmindedly patted Nico’s back.

“No, I guess not. The one thing Reyna holds above our friendship, is duty. She’d only let you take the night off if she had somebody that could fill in short notice.” Jason let out a sigh. “Which I know for a fact she does not.”

Percy gave them a pity look before chugging back his sugary coffee 

“It’s probably better this way anyways. God knows I need the tips.” He didn’t mean to sound bitter, but he knew that he did. It was hard not to feel bitter every once in awhile, especially when he was in the midst of feeding a friendship he knew he could never have. 

“Percy, are you okay?”

Percy looked up, surprised, his face must have shown it, because he could definitely feel it.

Was he okay?

He wasn’t. He knew he wasn’t. He had been drinking a shitload of caffeine, skipping out on work at McDonald's, avoiding conversations with everyone and he felt like his chest was full of angry, weepy crabs. That morning he had been seriously contemplating teetering off of a roof ledge. 

Was he okay?

“Yeah,” Percy shrugged, turning his face to look out the window at the gently moving trees.

“I’m fine.”

____________________

Music shook the floor, people danced and made out in corners. Percy concentrated on pouring drinks. Tonight everything was bothering him. The lights were too bright, the music too loud, the smell of alcohol too strong. He had a headache throbbing behind his eyes and in both temples, and the bruise he had covered up with heavy concealer was tender and sore.

Patrons were talking to him, some of them were drunk, some just innocently flirtatious. Percy mixed their drinks, refilled their glasses and  _ tried _ to do small talk. But he simply wasn’t interested in talking to  _ anyone.  _ The hours crept slowly by, Percy’s tight clothes made him feel trapped and all he wanted to do was put on comfy clothes and watch dumb movies with…

Jason and Nico.

Percy sloshed whisky over the side of a tumbler, the amber liquid splashing heavy onto the bar and splattering his navy shirt.

Jason and Nico were making their way through the throng of moving bodies, carrying a picnic basket.

What the hell?

The two men sidled their way up to the bar, plopping the basket (which smelt really good) right beside Percy’s mess.

Percy finished pouring the drink properly and pushed the glass towards his customer. 

Jason and Nico were smiling.

“What the actual fuck?” Percy looked at them, frowning. “Do you people literally have nothing else to do?”

“You couldn’t get off work for our platonic- not- date, so we brought the not-date to you!” Jason said cheerily.

“What the actual fuck.” Whiskey was dripping onto Percy’s shoes. He quickly moved to wipe up the spill.

“Are you ...mad?” Nico asked, his voice was unsure and he reached an arm out Jason, almost protectively.

Percy realized that he still had his irritated face on and softened himself. 

“What? No. God, no. I just…” He looked at both men, their faces confused. Percy’s shoulders slumped a little before he shrugged, weakly. “You guys just keep surprising me.” He gave them a genuine smile, knowing that it looked tired.

Jason’s bright expression returned, Nico dropped his arm from where it grasped Jason’s bicep. 

“Maybe if we surprise you enough, you’ll start expecting it and maybe you won’t spill as many drinks.” Nico said, giving Percy a coy look.

“I wouldn’t count on it,” the bartender replied.

_______________

It was about an hour after Percy’s shift, which had been filled with stolen bites of extraordinary pasta and homemade french bread, as well as a lot of smiling and inspired small talk with Jason and Nico. The three boys were sitting at one of the clubs many tables, drinking coffee and enjoying Nico’s spectacular poached cherries and mascarpone.

“They would have been better warm,” Nico said, spooning a bite into his cherry stained mouth. “But this works too.”

“I don’t know what the hell you’re complaining about.” Percy said, mouth full. “This stuff is  _ fantastic.” _ His eyes flickered up to Nico’s face. “Where did you learn to cook like this?”

Nico smiled. “My mother and grandmother were both excellent cooks. My father had moved us all to the states before I was even born, but they wanted to keep our Italian background alive.” Nico spooned more mascarpone into Jason’s bowl, Jason hummed in delight. “I grew up rolling sheets of pasta and punching bread dough. It was a good childhood for the most part.”

Percy smiled sadly. “My mom taught me how to bake chocolate chip cookies and perfect waffles.”

“My mom used to throw bottles at me.”

It was Jason’s voice, low and almost indiscernible. Percy almost didn’t catch it, but he did and he felt his stomach drop at the implication.

“What?”

Jason looked up, his face carefully confused. “What, what?”

Percy scowled. “You know what.” 

Nico looked at Percy with sad eyes and wrapped an arm around Jason’s broad shoulders.

“It’s okay, Jason. I think it’s safe to say that we can trust him.” Nico placed a sweet cherry kiss against his cheek and Percy saw Jason visibly relax. 

“I’m sorry, Percy. I didn’t mean to say that. I wasn’t even old enough to remember that part of my life clearly. It’s just small things, like the sound of breaking glass against a wall, or her voice when she was drunk. Always so angry.”

“When did you get out?” Percy asked softly, hoping that the answer would be ‘Quickly.’ 

“My sister, Thalia ran away from home when I was two. She didn’t take me with her because she thought that I had died. But, of course I hadn’t. We were my father’s accidents, his dirty secrets and he didn’t want the press to find out that he had children with another woman. When he found out about Thalia leaving, he came to our house. I remember that there was a huge fight, my mother was drunk and she left. She had a car accident that night and it killed her.

“My father had no choice but to take me in with him. He told everyone that I was his wife’s child, that they had simply kept my birth hidden in order to keep me away from the press. People only half bought that bullshit, so when Thalia showed back up when I was sixteen, it was basically impossible for him to hide is relationship with Beryl. In the end, I was still his wife’s son and he told everyone else that Thalia was his mistake. It was better than having two bastard kids, anyway.” 

His wife hates me, and rightfully so. I’m just a big reminder that her husband didn’t think she was enough. She’s been indifferent towards me since I was little. She tries to act like I don’t exist. I didn’t even remember having a sister. I had always thought that it was just me, alone.”

Percy sat in his seat, wide eyed and staring at Jason’s slumped and confused form. Nico was wrapped around him protectively again, fixing Percy with a steady stare as if daring him to say something cruel. The truth was, he didn’t know what to say. He had known that Jason was a bastard child, like him, but he certainly didn’t know that his life had been so  _ complicated.  _

There were really no words, so Percy did the same thing he did the last time he had sensed Jason’s sadness. He reached out and wrapped his hand firmly around Jason’s.

“It’s okay. I’m a bastard child too.”

Jason looked up with a little, tired, red eyed smile and before Percy could stop himself, he had leaned forward and placed a gentle, sweet cherry kiss on Jason’s cheek.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Luke, watching from the window.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now it'll just be a few more months (probably) before I post the next chapter.  
> Sorry. I honestly kind of just write a chapter and then post it and write a chapter and post it.  
> I don't even have a planning sheet.  
> This was a bad idea.


	11. Hurt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning, guys. It's going to get dark here.

 

Percy backed away from Jason’s now blushing face, slowly. He watched Luke warily, half expecting him to break the window like in a horror movie. He looked back at Jason’s face, trying not to look scared.

Jason was smiling and Nico was giving him another shot of his smug/triumphant, face.

Jason cleared his throat and blushed harder. “Wow, Percy. That was deeply inappropriate. Don’t you know that my boyfriend is sitting right next to us?”

It was a joke, Percy knew and in any other situation, he would smile back and say something witty and things would be okay.

But right now, things weren’t okay.

Luke looked at him with steely eyes and beckoned him with an angry finger and an unforgiving posture. Percy wanted to cry.

He laughed nervously at Jason’s joke- one of those stupid “Ha, ha’s,” before rising to his feet, trying not to shake.

“So, this was great, thank you guys. I’m really sorry about that kiss thing, but um… It’s getting late so I should um… I should go.”

He backed away a little bit quicker this time, accidentally bumping a table. The two men were watching him confusedly and in the case of Jason, a little bit upset.

“Percy, hey, dude. It’s fine. Why are you..?”

But Percy was already gone. He grabbed his backpack from the staffroom and left through the back door, not even caring about how the two men would lock up without the key.

__________

Jason and Nico were left sitting alone for a moment, dumbstruck, half a jar of poached cherries sitting between them. Then, they were up and going after him. Something was wrong and they couldn’t let him leave.

But he was already gone.

“So, can I just say: What the _hell_?” Nico spat, slamming his hand into a wall

“Come on.” Jason’s voice was authoritative, so Nico listened and followed him out the back door and into the dark alley.

“We have to find him, something is wrong. He was scared of something. Something made him run.” Jason made a gruff, worried sound and took off, Nico just a step behind. There was nobody at the front of the building, just dirty, melting slush and a few cigarette butts.

“The subway?” Nico suggested and they were off again, moving as quickly as they could toward the tunnels. They flew down the steps, taking them in two’s and three’s.

The men caught a glimpse of black hair and a blue backpack disappearing into a subway car. Desperate, they made a break for the figure, hopping onto the train moments before the door closed and the cars started moving.

Jason reached out a hand, gripping the boy’s shoulder. He knew it wasn’t Percy before he even turned around.

_____________

He was barely aware of the taxi ride home. There were angry hands around his waist that kept him harnessed in tighter than his seatbelt ever could. Part of Percy wished that they’d never make it home. That they’d aimlessly drive the streets forever and that Luke would never get him alone.

 

But then they were alone.

Luke had his hands on him, had backed him into a corner. A lamp was broken on the floor, its shade rolling on its side in slow circles. Luke was calling him a slut, a bitch. Was asking him if he had let Jason and Nico fuck him.

“Of course you did. I bet you screamed for them, like you scream for me.” Luke grabbed his hair as the last words left his mouth, then he pulled it, hard. He could feel some of it get pulled from his scalp, his neck yanked back so fast he was afraid it would snap. Caught by surprise, Percy did scream. His eyes teared up, he was slammed into the wall. There was hot breath in his ear, fingernails digging into the side of his neck.

“I bet you let the whole club do you, didn’t you?”

Percy could have shoved him back, but he didn’t.

Luke swung him around, by the neck and threw him into the glass coffee table. This final assault managing to officially break the sorry looking thing, as well as cut long lines into Percy’s aching body.

He could have kept his feet, if he really tried, but he didn’t.

“You’re a fucking, cumdump.”

He could have rolled away from the kick, but he didn’t .

When Luke hovered over him, roughly grabbing his cut face, it could have just taken one quick punch to the throat and Percy could have been out of there.

But Percy didn’t punch.

Just cried and waited for it to be over.

“Whore.”

It hurt, it was humiliating, he didn’t want it.

But the worst thing was,

Luke didn’t even smell like alcohol.

___________

“He’s not picking up. Why the hell isn’t he picking up?”

“Jason. Sweetheart. It’s okay. Maybe he’s just busy freaking out because he kissed you and doesn’t know how to handle it.” Nico groaned and rolled over to watch Jason pace back and forth around their bedroom.

“What if he’s on the side of the road somewhere in a hoodie and sneakers?”

Nico let out a long sigh. “Jason. He’s a grown man. He can take care of himself. I promise. If he was in trouble, he would call us.”

“No he wouldn’t, Nico.”

“No, he wouldn’t.” Nico dragged a hand down his face. He was tired, but also alive with fear. “You’re right. I know. Percy wouldn’t ask for help. He would probably just cover his trauma with jokes and lies about bar fights. But, we don’t know where he lives. New York is to big a place to go combing through.” The Italian man let out an angry huff of air, and hen got up to pull his boyfriend into a hug.

“I’m scared for him.” Jason whispered into Nico’s collarbone.

“I know. Me too.”

_________________

 

The shower stung. His eyes stung, crusty blood from his eyebrow washed down into his eyes. He was on his way to being able to breathe again, the steam loosening his nose stuffed with mucus from constant crying.

He _hurt._ Hurt from the inside out. His heart, his gasping lungs, his stomach and his skin. Mottled black and blue, angry red from cuts and from the burning hot water.

He didn’t even trust himself to stand up, knowing that it took so much effort to drag himself out of the mess that was their coffee table. He had his knees pulled up to his chin, his face tucked into the crook of his arm, refusing to watch the relentless streams of blood that flowed steadily from his body and from between his legs.

There was a time when Luke protected Percy.

When he kept him safe and taught him how to protect himself.

He was the one who told everyone to fuck off and leave Grover alone, someone who had been Percy’s best friend since the sixth grade.

He was the one who encouraged Annabeth and him to become friends.

Now, Percy wasn’t allowed to talk to Annabeth. He wasn’t allowed to talk to Grover. He wasn’t allowed to talk to his _mother_.

Now, he was wondering how he had let himself get here. He would have never have imagined that he would be here, feeling what he was feeling. That it would be because of Luke.

Luke had been his role model since he was a kid. He had grown up falling in love with him. But Luke wasn’t who he used to be. Luke was _terrifying._ He couldn’t shake how hard his eyes turned when he was upset. They were almost uncaring. Like he couldn’t even see him properly.

It had taken an hour or so to pick out all the glass from his skin.

He remembered doing it before, a long time ago. Picking brown glass shards out of his body, but back then, he felt hate and a severe need to rebel and hurt.

This time, it was confusion and hopelessness.

If Luke loved him, why was he here all alone? Did he even know what love was? Did Percy?

He was under the impression that love was something soft, something that could be seen in the eyes. But what did it look like? Were his eyes just as hard as Lukes? Did they make him just as afraid?

When he thought of love now, all he could see were Jason and Nico, smiling sweetly at each other, constantly finding some way to touch. Not in a claiming way, not with bruising force. Just so that they knew they were next to each other. Just so they knew they had each other.

Percy tipped his head back facing the spray. He closed his eyes and opened his mouth. The water had gone cold by now and he let it cover him in goosebumps, let it eek into his joints and fill his mouth until he was gagging on it. It became so cold that it burned, yet he sat in the bathtub until Luke came home, hours later and shut it off.

___________

When he woke up, he was wrapped in a threadbare towel and cocooned in a pile of blankets. Luke lay next to him, on his side, head propped up on his hand. He was soft now, hand carding through Percy’s wet hair, and it comforted him. Percy blinked at him, not sure what he was feeling. Luke gave him a gentle smile and then, all of a sudden, all he _could_ feel was adoration. He loved this man and if his words had been true, this man loved him as well.

“We have to talk about your episodes, Percy.” Luke said softly, his blue eyes filled with concern. “You have to stop doing these things to yourself. If I hadn’t come home when I did, you could have hurt yourself.”

All Percy could do was blink blearily at him, his head foggy, his joints feeling stiff and sore. He wanted Luke to wrap himself around him. To offer him his heat and comfort. Percy desperately wanted to be comforted.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered into the blankets. “I didn’t mean to worry you like that.”

Luke leaned in, pressing the softest of kisses to Percy’s chilled forehead.

“It’s okay, sweetheart. I forgive you.” Luke smiled at him lovingly and Percy felt his heart clench and bloom at the same time. “I just don’t want to see you hurt.”

Percy’s stomach dropped and he was hit by a sudden wave of clarity. He felt every part of his body thrum with hurt and he frantically pulled away from Luke, sitting up and hitting his back against the headboard. Luke looked startled.

“But _you_ hurt me.” Percy whimpered, pulling his arms up protectively against his body.

Luke opened his mouth to reply, his face still flabbergasted, like he couldn’t believe what Percy was saying.

“ _You hurt me, Luke_.”

This time his voice came out venomous and every word packed a sharp punch.

Luke sat still for a few long seconds, Percy could see the surprise begin to leave his eyes and be replaced by frost. All the fight left him when the frost came. He knew there was no way he could fight the weather.

“ _I took you back, Percy_ . I saw you with two other men _and I took you back_ . Don’t you dare act like I owe you an apology for treating you the way you asked to be treated. You fucking whored yourself out. You hurt _me_.”

“I didn’t sleep with either of them, it was just a kiss on the cheek. I was trying to comfort him. They’re my friends.”

“They are not your friends. I am the only one who cares about you. Do you understand? _There is no one else.”_

Percy let out a startled gasp as Luke reached to wrap a hand around his neck, squeezing enough to have Percy struggling for air.

“If I ever see you with them again, consider yourself alone.” He squeezed just a little tighter. “I’ll fucking lock the door and bar the window. You will never get to _glimpse_ your things again. See if they’re still your ‘friends’ when you go crying to them about what a fucking screw up you are.”

He let go of Percy’s neck with force enough to knock his skull into the headboard. Percy sucked in ragged breaths.

Then the weight of Luke left the bed and he was alone.

_There is no one else._

  
  
  


_No one else._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry.


	12. Okay/I Know

He didn’t want to lose him.

It was obvious.

Percy was all that he had.

There was no one else for him either, Percy knew that. If Percy were to leave, Luke would be alone too. Percy couldn’t do that to him. Never could. He had to be there to help him, to make sure he didn’t hurt himself when he hit the bottle to hard. Luke was falling apart and it wasn’t acceptable because Percy knew that he should be able to fix him.

He crawled out of his cocoon as quickly as he could, pulling on a pair of underwear and some loose sweatpants, as well as a shirt. He yanked on a coat as he left, intent on following Luke to whatever bar he was going to. He was going to save him, because he loved him.

But by the time he made it to the bottom of the stairs, Luke was already gone.

____________

 

It was a couple of months before Percy gained the courage to call Jason and Nico.

Luke was around less and less, but anytime he was home, he wouldn’t let Percy out of his sight. He made him skip work a couple of times before they had another fight and he made Percy quit his bartending job permanently.

Percy understood that Luke was jealous and afraid, but the tighter he held on to him, the more Percy wanted him to let him go.

He held his cellphone to his ear, but as soon as it hit the first ring, his heart jumped into his throat. He couldn’t fucking _breathe_ . They weren’t going to want to talk to him. _Who the fuck would?_ He had been ignoring their calls for two months. He had to fucking block their number so Luke wouldn’t ask questions, so he could give his hurts time to heal.

He tried to hit the cancel call button, but his hands fumbled the phone. It landed by his feet and he heard Jason’s voice come through he speaker.

“Percy? Oh my god, Percy? Are you there?”

The boy bent down slowly to pick up the phone. It’s screen was cracked, but he couldn’t even pretend to be worried about it right now.

“I-I’m here.” His voice shook, his hands shook, he felt as if his heart was trembling. “How have you been?”

Jason didn’t answer his question. Suddenly, there was another voice on the other end. Nico.

“Percy? What the fuck! It’s been like, two months! Why haven’t you been answering our calls? You can’t just disappear like that! Do you know how _fucking_ worried we’ve been?”

Percy was hyperventilating. “I-Im sorry. I’m really, really sorry. I just- I can’t. _Oh my god_.”

“Percy? Percy? Are you okay? _Percy_?”

_Breathe. Just breathe. Calm down. You’re alright. You’re alright. It’s okay. Just breathe. Just breathe._

It was a few long moments before Percy managed to make his breath even. A few more moments passed before he realized that it was Jason’s voice on the phone. Jason’s voice helping him through it.

“Percy? Percy? Are you still with me? Are you okay?”

The dark haired boy let out a long, shaky breath. “Yeah. Yeah. I’m okay. It’s okay, I’m okay.”

“Okay.” Silence. “Where are you?”

“Um. I'm. Um. I'm right outside my apartment. On the roof.”

“Why are you on the roof, Percy?”

“I needed to be by myself. I can see if Luke's coming home. But I don't really like heights, so, so I don't know…”

“Would you mind telling me your address?”

“I can't. Luke wouldn't like it.” Percy squeezed his eyes shut until he saw stars. “I just needed to apologize for running off that night. I know it was rude and that you probably don't want to see me again.I totally get that. I just wanted to say thank you for putting up with me for so long and I’m glad that I met you and-”

“Percy, Percy. _Stop_ . Please. Just tell is where we can find you. We're not mad. You just worried us. We care about you. We just want to make sure you're safe. _Please_ don’t hang up on me.”

“I’m sorry.” He took a long breath again. “I can’t give you my address.”

“Percy-”

“But can I meet you somewhere?”

A couple of beats. A few breaths.

“Okay, yeah. Where do you want to meet?”

“I don’t know. Central Park? By the Loch?”

“When?”

“Two hours?”

“Okay. Don’t worry, Percy. We’ll be there. I promise.”

“Okay.”

______________

The ice was almost fully melted. The stream trickled soothingly and Percy almost felt like he could breathe again. It was a little bit windy out,  but the fierceness of it was buffered by the trees all around him. He liked it here. It had always been a quiet spot in all the hustle and bustle of New York City. It was little known to the world, not a huge tourist attraction, which was why he wanted to meet Jason and Nico there. Somewhere that felt lost to the world, somewhere he could hide with them without hurting.

He had covered up bruises as best as he could, wearing a long sleeved shirt with holes for his thumbs. Even though it was nearing the end of March, things were still chilly, the wind was relentless and Percy felt blessed that it wasn’t raining today. He was wearing jeans and long socks, his converse getting rattier every day. His heavy coat weighed down on his bruise mottled shoulders, but the constant ache helped to ground him. Helped to remind him who he belonged to, that he could never belong to anyone else, that he couldn’t even belong to himself. He had covered his face in concealer and foundation, following the bruises on their long trail down his neck, making sure to cover a little bit below the collar of his shirt as well, just in case.

Jason and Nico were almost ten minutes late.

Percy considered leaving. Maybe Luke had been right. Maybe they didn’t really care about him. Maybe no one did. He wasn’t even sure if Luke was telling the truth when he told him that he loved him. Who thought love could be filled with so much broken glass?

He considered leaving, five minutes in.

Eight minutes in he considered how difficult it would be to drown himself.

But then there were footsteps, the sound of people cursing quietly under their breath. Percy couldn’t help but crack a smile. The two boys- men- ducked under a branch and flopped down beside Percy, making themselves at home on the cold ground.

“Jesus Christ, Percy. You had to pick the one place in this city that is impossible to find.” Nico grumbled. But he was smiling, actually smiling and Percy thought his heart may have burst.

He hadn’t realized how much he had missed their faces. Nico’s dark eyes, Jason’s blue ones. He had missed sitting next to them, seeing how in love they were, seeing what love really was.

Nico’s hair had grown a little bit since last Percy saw him. He knew that his own had too. He also knew that his was most definitely not as neat as Nico’s.

Jason was still the same as always. His face smiling, but a deep valley of worry was poorly hidden in his eyes. They were both beautiful in different ways, just like Luke was beautiful in his own way.

But Luke was marble and stone and broken glass and steam making a pattern across the floor. Nico was like dark chocolate and smooth, warm honey. His voice made Percy’s spine tingle pleasantly, his arms were comforting and protective. Percy knew. He had felt it, he had seen it countless times when Nico sensed Jason’s discomfort.

Jason on the other hand- he was he was the blue sky without smog, he was like, cotton candy, like a warm rain. He was a blanket that wrapped around you, letting you know that you would be okay.

These two men were here, sitting next to Percy even after being ignored for two months. Once again, Percy realized that he did not deserve any of it.

“Sorry. Sometimes I forget how hidden this place is.” He moved his eyes away from tracing down the line of Jason’s jaw, instead focusing on the trickle of the water, the rustle of the leaves. “How have you guys been?”

“We’ve been okay. We've missed you and have been worried as all hell, but other than that, we’ve been okay.” Nico didn’t even try to hide the sarcasm in his voice and it stung a little bit.

“Nico,” Jason warned, always the voice of reason. He turned to look at Percy, taking in his appearance, the way he curled into himself just slightly. It was almost like Jason could see past all the makeup and layers that Percy had put on in order to hide. It made Percy feel slightly vulnerable, a little bit naked, a little bit exposed. “Why did you run off so fast that night, Percy? Please, just tell us what scared you.”

He looked down. Then back at Jason and Nico, then down again. Before he could think everything through, he muttered: “Luke saw me kiss you.”

“Oh, shit.” Nico’s words were quiet. His tone breathy, slightly afraid.

“Did he hurt you, Percy?”

He was lying when he told them no.

He was lying when he told them that Luke would never do something like that. But maybe he was lying because he didn’t believe it himself. The Luke he used to know would have never hurt Percy. The Luke Percy used to know- well, he used to care.

Jason and Nico weren’t buying it.

“You know you can tell us things, right? That we care about you?”

“I know.”

“You know you shouldn’t be afraid to have friends who care about you, right?”

“Right.”

“You’re allowed to lean on us, allowed to spend time with us, allowed to do whatever the fuck you want, Percy.” Nico said. “You’re free to choose where you want to go, who you want to see- it’s your life.”

“I know.” But he didn’t know. At this moment he was pretty damn convinced that everything he was belonged to Luke. That everything he had become was because of Luke. Whether that was someone strong, or someone so infinitely afraid of being who he used to be. He had never been so angsty before in his life. He knew he was being dramatic with the way he thought, the way he acted in his head. He used to smile a lot more and he wondered what that used to feel like.

He was ashamed of his own self pity.

So he tried to be upbeat, tried to be happier. At least with Jason and Nico, because most of the time, he _was_ happy when he hung around them.

“Why didn’t you call us for the last two months? Why didn't you answer when we tried calling you?” Nico was being softer about his hurt now and Percy was busy wondering why he felt hurt in the first place. He had lots of friends. He had Jason. They didn’t need Percy.

“I’m sorry, you guys. Really, I’m sorry. Things got really busy in my life. I didn’t have time to do anything. Then I ended up accidentally erasing your number. I just found it again under my bed when I was cleaning up.”

_Luke made me erase it. Every time you called me, he hurt me for it._

“Sure. Okay then. But why did you quit your job? Reyna said you just started skipping out on her before you called her and told her you couldn’t do it anymore. She said that it wasn’t like you. She was kind of pissed about it, actually.”

“Shit. Yeah, I know. I’m really sorry. I picked up a couple of night classes and couldn’t work the hours anymore.” _Liar._ “I really miss it, though. It was a good job.”

_I had to quit. Luke told me that only sluts were bartenders, that I was probably selling myself more often than I was selling drinks. He didn’t want me to see you anymore. He’s ruining me. He’s killing me. I can’t get out. But I can’t stop loving him either._

Percy explained away everything. Every question they asked he had an answer for.

Soon, they ran out of questions and they just talked. It was nice, but things were clipped.

“So, what have you been up to?” They would ask.

“Nothing much. Just concentrating on school.”

“Talked to any friends lately?” Their voices were interested, but Percy couldn’t find it in him to take on the same amount of enthusiasm.

“No. Don’t have many friends to contact, you know.”

“Really? Is it weird that I find that hard to believe? You’re like the best person we know.”

Percy blushed.

“Well, you know. People move away, it’s easy to lose touch.” He missed the look of hurt in the men’s eyes.

“Well, we’re glad you decided not to lose touch with us.” Jason sounded so sincere that it made Percy’s eyes burn.

“Yeah.”

Jason talked about what he’d been doing at work, the leaps, the setbacks, the humour.

“Leo set it on fire, of course. He sets everything on fire. But he’s a good friend. And brilliant.”

The green eyed boy dared to smile. He liked Leo a lot. He wished that he could see him again. That he could go back to that New Years Eve party and let himself have a little more fun, lie under the Christmas tree with Jason and Nico for just a bit longer, cry a little bit less.

“How is Leo?” He couldn’t help but ask, curious.

“He’s fine, actually. He was a little bit worried about you too, you know.” _Shame._ “He’s been working really hard, sometimes it’s difficult to pull him away from his work and get him to do anything else. Sometimes we have to force him to eat. He always loses weight when he’s stuck on a project” Jason shrugged. Nico was pressed into his side. His body moved with Jason’s. It was really beautiful. “But sometimes that’s what happens. You get so invested in something that it’s hard to remember anything else matters. Even if it’s not going to work in the end, even if it’s hurting you.”

Percy was to busy pulling his sleeve down over a bruise to catch the gravity of Jason’s words. Of what he was so desperately trying to tell him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh, guys.  
> I have to apologize for taking so long this time. I mean, it's been almost two months and some one actually asked me if I was okay. (Which I am, thank you for asking)  
> So. Right before the beginning of January, I was accepted and enrolled into my desired post secondary course. Four days before classes started. I wasn't expecting this until the fall. So I had to quit my job, pick up and move in within the four days so that I could attend. I actually ended up spending a few days in a hotel before I could find proper living arrangements.  
> So, since then, I have been incredibly busy with school, which means less time for writing.  
> I had almost a full chapter typed out a couple of weeks ago, actually, but then decided I didn't like it and retyped about half of it. It still feels like it's short though, so I apologize for that.  
> So, I am very, very sorry for making you wait this long, I hope you can forgive me for it and I really hope you liked this chapter.


	13. Rules

Percy was being held aloft by the collar of his shirt, his green eyes thick with fury. He was a small kid, skrawny, with only a little bit of muscle. Scott was a whole lot bigger, as well as a couple years older than Percy. He was a known bully, hell his name was in the list of ‘Top Ten Douchebag Guys’. But the smaller boy wasn’t afraid to gut punch him when he wouldn’t stop harassing Grover.

The black haired boy struggled and kicked all that he could, reaching his hands up to pull at Scott’s hands, scratch his blunt nails into his flesh. Scott hissed and swore, dropping Percy to the ground only to kick him when he landed. Percy heard a sharp ‘CRACK” but before he could think it may have been his ribs, Scott was on the ground beside him, nose crooked ad gushing blood. 

“Have you never heard the rules: Don’t kick someone when they’re down and don’t pick on someone who’s smaller than you?”

Scott groaned and swore, hands reaching to cup his bloody face.

Percy took the hand offered to him and allowed whoever it was to help him to his feet. His breath left him when he realized who it had been.

Luke Castellan. Blonde hair, blue eyes, scarred along his face. One of the most beautiful people Percy had ever laid his eyes on. Percy would be lying if he said he hadn’t been crushing on the guy since he transferred to Long Beach. It wasn’t that Percy was a bad kid, just that he couldn’t seem to avoid trouble and trouble seemed to have some sort of location device stuck to everything he owned.

“Hey, kid. You okay?” Luke’s voice was strong, but friendly. The younger boy couldn’t help his eyes as they ran across his muscled arms.

“Yeah. Yeah, m’fine.” Percy blushed. “I couldn’t have handled it myself though,you know. You didn’t have to break the guy’s nose.”

Luke grinned and it was playful and kind. “I bet you could’ve.”

___________

“Grover eats like a goat,” Percy said as he plopped down in the grass next to Luke, two sandwiches in one hand, a bag of cookie dough fudge in the other. “I had to practically fight him for this food.” He handed a package to Luke, who was laughing at the younger boy. 

Percy was stronger now, faster, he could hold his own in a fight. Luke had seen to that. He was fourteen, Luke seventeen. They had become friends soon after Percy’s incident with Scott. Luke was this role model, this marvelous idea of a person. He was also gorgeous.

He took the younger boy under his wing, introduced him to a girl named Annabeth who seemed dead set on hating him, but turned out to be a great friend. 

Luke taught him how to be quicker on his feet, how to use his whole body when he punched. If Percy ever met someone who could hurt him, who would try hurting him, he would be able to hold his own and them some.

When Luke wasn’t teaching him things, he was soft and kind and a really, really good friend. When he  _ was _ teaching him things, Percy got distracted by the hard edge to his eyes, the movement of his chest as he heaved to breathe. The way his muscles moved. But he was always kind, always helped Percy to his feet, apologized and patched him up if he ever got to rough. Needless to say, Percy was attached.

_____________

Even after four years of knowing Luke and two-ish years of dating, Percy still barely knew the guy. He knew that he had been raised mostly by himself, that he had run away from home quite a long time ago. He knew that, like Percy, he had switched schools often. He knew that he had found Annabeth when they were kids and taken care of her, did something to fill the hole her neglectful father left in her life. That was why she was so protective of him. Percy had come into her territory.

Luke was fierce and sweet. He gave him sweet, cliche kisses under the bleachers and insisted that he wasn’t good enough for Percy. He , made him feel safe he was beautiful, he was incredibly guarded. 

Percy could never get answers for his questions. Every deep subject was always skirted around and avoided with short responses or general silence. Percy made the mistake of asking about his father once and was terrified of the anger in Luke’s face when he was mentioned. So he stayed clear of the topic of his family. 

Luke had been hurt, Percy knew, but he wasn’t sure how to help him heal. All he could do was stand beside him and hold his hand and try to let him know that he wasn’t alone.

When Percy first met Luke’s father, he didn’t seem like to bad of a guy. It was purely a coincidence that they turned up in a certain bookstore at the same time, but the man was nothing if not polite and charming. Luke was upset for weeks. Snapping at little things and making Percy crazy.

It got to the point where Percy threatened to leave. He understood that Luke had had difficulties in the past, Percy had had his fair share as well. But he didn’t know how to fix whatever was going on. Luke wouldn’t tell him. He didn’t want to leave

Things between them had never quite been the same.

Things had seemed to get better for a while, but every so often, Luke would drift away from him. He’d get quiet or he’d get really loud. He’d yell at Percy for dumb things, Percy would yell back and suddenly, Luke wouldn’t be talking to him.

Annabeth left to work her dream job, Luke was angry when she told them she was leaving. He insisted that she was abandoning him, Percy thought that was stupid. When Grover came over, Luke would become uncharacteristically clingy and eventually told Percy that he was jealous of his  _ very _ straight best friend. 

Luke’s chilly attitude managed to drive Grover away for the most part. 

Things had spiralled down quickly, but Percy was so invested in Luke, so invested in making things work, so in love- that he let it all happen. He didn’t even realize that he was being trapped.

But really, Percy always thought. It’s my fault he’s insecure. I hurt him and he’s just trying to keep me from leaving him.

__________________

Percy wasn’t supposed to be home early. But he was. 

He wasn’t supposed to walk across the apartment, but he did. 

He wasn’t supposed to hear noises, but he did. He wasn’t supposed to open the bedroom door and see Luke draped over somebody else, moving with a familiarity that said that he had been here, like this, before.

But he did. 

He saw. 

He knew.

He should have confrontation mode, like he used to do. But he didn’t. 

He turned on his heel and walked as fast as he could out of his waking nightmare.

He didn’t even look back when he heard Luke calling his name.

______________________

He didn’t know how he had managed to get where he was, but there he was, gasping for air as he curled in on himself on the front step of his mother’s apartment building.

When he finally managed to catch his breath, he stood and grasped the door as someone entered the building, following behind them. He stood awkwardly in the elevator, watching the floors drift by one by one. His heart clenched in his chest, he felt nauseous and dizzy and it wasn't only because of what he'd seen Luke doing.

It was because he was so worried about what his mother would say when he showed up at her door after so long away. 

Part of him knew that no matter what, she would usher him inside, sit him down at the kitchen table and feed him blue cookies. That she would comb her fingers through his hair, still as unruly as ever, and ask him how he was.

But another part, a larger part, an entirely insane part of him, was afraid he would be turned away. That what Luke said was true. His mother didn't want him, she was ashamed of him. He had left her alone for too long and she had given up and didn't care anymore. He was afraid of that and he hated that he had reason to be afraid. 

He didn't realize how much the hug would hurt. Wasn't prepared to see the look of surprise on his mother's face, the look of relief. He didn't even know he was crying until he was shaking from it. 

________

Percy felt like he was back in the sixth grade, holding things back from his mother so that she wouldn’t think he was crazy. He needed to tell her what he saw, needed her to lie to him and tell him that it wasn’t his fault that he couldn’t be enough for Luke, that he couldn’t save him. He needed all of this from her, but when she asked for answers, all Percy could do was shake his head and try not to cry again.

“Percy, baby. Has he been hurting you?” Sally stroked his head. She smelled sweet, like she always did. Percy had missed being home, missed hugs that meant more than possession and ownership. He had missed his mother, so, so damn much. 

But in the back of his head, Luke was drunk and sad and alone in the bathroom, knife skittering tauntingly along tanned flesh. 

There had never been a cut, but Percy couldn’t stop being scared of it.

“No, mom.” Percy whispered, “No. He hasn’t been hurting me.”

_ I’ve been hurting  _ him _.  _

“Baby, what’s wrong? What happened?”

He’d give her some truth. He owed it to her.

“I saw him with someone else, today, mom. He was with someone else and it scared me.”

Sally frowned, deeply and frighteningly. It was an expression that Percy rarely saw her use.

“Do you want to come back home?” Sally asked, her tone was soft, but serious. Percy knew she was worried about him. 

He would be lying if he said he didn’t consider it.

“No, mom. I’ll be okay.” 

He wouldn’t be okay and he goddamn well knew it.

He was afraid of going back to his apartment. Somehow he knew that whatever happened, Luke would pin the blame on him.

And goddamnit, _ Percy was done with being blamed. _

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!!  
> I'm sorry I've been gone so long, and I just want to say thank you for sticking with me for...  
> Guys it's been over a year.  
> My god am I slow.


	14. Straw

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey you guys!

He wasn’t sure if Luke would still be in their apartment, the apartment that Percy was determined never to share with the older man again.

If it wasn’t for the fury, he’d be deathly afraid. This was someone he was supposed to love, someone who was supposed to love him back. The abusiveness should have been enough to convince him that Luke didn’t care for him, the leaving him cold on the side of the road should have convinced him, the cruelty and isolation that came with being in a relationship with him should have sent him running a long ass time ago. But for some reason, some _stupid_ reason, what Percy had caught him doing had hurt the most.

Luke wanted someone more to mess with, someone who wasn’t Percy.

It was the straw that broke the camel's legs, or some stupid euphemism along those lines.

Still, Percy’s guts felt as though they were being twisted up like balloon animals. He made his way up the stairs, stepping carefully over one of his neighbors that had a habit of falling asleep on the staircase.

The door to the apartment was unlocked, Luke was drinking coffee, looking nonchalant. There was an unfamiliar sock lying just inside the threshold. Percy’s anger flared.

“I’m done. I am _sooo_ done with you, Luke.” Percy said, angrily striding past the man leaning against their crappy excuse for a kitchen counter. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Luke start, pushing away from the counter. He paid him no attention as he began shoving his possessions into his old backpack. His toothbrush left it’s placement beside Luke’s, his clothes left the dresser they shared, his eyeliner and extra pair of shoes. He grabbed a few random possessions, everything that was of sentimental meaning to him. He knew anything he couldn’t take now would be destroyed by Luke as soon as he left.

Luke was leaning against the door frame of the apartment. He was trying to look calm, but Percy could see the panic behind his eyes. The fear that he wouldn’t be able to trap his victim this time.

“Come on, Percy,” Luke’s arms dropped to his sides as he tried to justify himself. “It’s not like he meant anything to me.” Percy didn’t budge, grabbing a duffel bag after finding that not everything he wanted to take would fit in a backpack. “It’s just that you haven’t really seemed into it lately.”

Percy shot him a look of disgust. His heart squeezed tight and he wanted to scream at him. Of _course_ he hadn’t been into it. The last few times Luke had done _anything_ to him it had felt _wrong_ and _painful_ and it wasn’t _consensual. He couldn’t believe he had let himself be raped._ He pushed back tears as he rummaged through their cupboards to grab his favourite mug.

Luke was growing angry, Percy could feel it as the older man shifted  away from the door frame, moving towards Percy and clenched his fists.

“You’re not leaving Percy, we can work this out, I can make things better. You just have to take responsibility in this relationship. You can’t keep blowing me off and kissing other men.”

“The fuck, Luke?”

Luke’s eyes blazed.

“Yeah, sweetheart. I know where you were a couple of days ago. I know who you were seeing. Is my humble paycheck not good enough for you? You need to budge into someone else's relationship to sponge off their success? Their happiness?” Luke crossed his arms, his face a mess of cold cruelty and spiteful indifference. “I mean, I knew you were a whore, but I didn’t know you fancied yourself an prostitute.”  
“Fuck you, Luke,”

He zipped up the bag, and carried it with ease towards the apartment door.

Luke’s face contorted into an angry sneer. The kind of sneer he would give him before he did something that should have never been forgivable: Cold empty roads, bruises that could stay hidden from the rest of the world, broken coffee tables and Percy’s large, stuffed dog that Annabeth had won for him, cut to shreds. Hate sex that hurt more than anything, locking him out of the building, locking the windows too, turning off the hot water when he took: ‘To many’ showers.

Everything built up in Percy’s head, every thing from the stuff of his nightmares, like the sight of  Mrs. O’Leary’s stuffing exploded on the the mattress, to long spells of silence and denial of affection.

Luke was in his face now, angry broken eyes staring him down, the eyes that used to be his kryptonite, but this time Percy knew that he couldn’t fix him. He didn’t have the right tools, wasn’t strong enough to carry him anymore, not when every time he tried he would only start sinking into something that he couldn’t climb out of.

Those fractured blue, blue eyes. Like a million crystals that had fallen and shattered on the floor.

He wasn’t a jeweler, didn’t know the first thing about putting a diamond back together.

Percy sneered back, something that he had never really done before, not to Luke and it felt like something easy. He had always stood up for others, why had he never thought of standing up for himself?

The smaller boy turned, not saying a word, walking quickly towards the door.

Luke grabbed his wrist, pulling him back much too hard, Percy couldn’t help but yelp painfully. Luke’s eyes went soft again, but this time, the smaller man wasn’t fooled. It was a mask and he didn’t want to see it anymore. “Come on, Percy. I’m sorry.” And once more he let the words that he had held from Percy for so long slip out again. But there still wasn’t any truth to them. “Come, on. I love you. I love you.” Percy wanted to puke and he wanted to cry and he so wanted to believe him, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t let himself be held by someone he didn’t trust. Not anymore. Not anymore.

He wrenched himself away, Luke’s grip was still too tight around his wrist. The skin there looked red and and ready to bruise. Then all his hurt and anger poured out, clutching his sore wrist, and yelling and yelling and yelling.

“Stop hurting me, damnit.” Tears made their way into his eyes, hot and blinding. “For fucks sake. Stop calling it love.”

__________________________

 

Jason and Nico opened the door, ready to go out to dinner. Behind it they found Percy huddled on their landing, sitting quietly and hugging a backpack.

________________________

There was a lot of tears that night, a ton of hair petting and a couple of kleenex boxes were emptied. Jason made sure that he brushed his teeth and put on pajamas before they tucked him in.

His body was still shaking late into the evening, and small sobbing fits still hit him unexpectedly. Percy hated feeling so tired and weak. But all he wanted was for someone to hold him, because all he could see when he closed his eyes was Luke naked on top of someone who wasn’t him and then  Luke’s broken face and his beautiful, terrible hands reaching to catch him as he stormed out of their building. He was so angry with himself, felt so used.

So when Jason and Nico turned to leave, probably wanting to give him space, Percy couldn’t help but hold their fingers and tug them lightly.

“Stay.”

And they stayed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to be clear, I do not like Percy's thought _"I can't believe I let myself be raped" ___  
> It is never the rape victims fault, ever and I am hoping to let Jason and Nico help Percy with his hurt and confusion.  
>  On another note: What's up guys? It's been a while!


	15. Dishes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And once again I have left you guys for much to long a time.  
> Also, my baby sister found my account here, so that's horrifying.

He woke up to a warmth all around him. It seemed that every time he was in trouble, he would be able to find Jason and Nico beside him. The two men were wrapped around his sides, their hands reaching over him to clasp on top of his chest.

It was sweet and Percy had never felt more  protected.

It was impossible for him to sneak out of their embrace without waking them, so he laid there until they stirred on their own. The morning's silence, was only broken by the sounds of birds and the two men's snoring. It was a little bit strange, waking up to almost silence when he was so used to waking up to the sound of neighbors. Arguing in their apartments or in the hallway, playing music or stomping around. It was weird, but it was nice.

Nico rolled over first, letting go of Jason’s hand in favour of laying on his back. He kept his eyes closed for a long moment and then scrunched them up and yawned. Percy didn’t move, just blinked up at the ceiling. This was going to be awkward, there was no doubt about it. He was no longer a complete wreck on the outside, that much was for certain. It was embarrassing to even think about all the crying he had done last night. He wasn’t even sure why he had gone  to Jason and Nico instead of his mother. When they had told him that they would always be there for him, he was pretty sure they didn’t mean like this.

Nico’s eyes moved from the ceiling to drag across Jason’s still sleeping face and onto Percy’s stiff profile. When he spoke, he sounded concerned. Percy turned his head to look at his face.

“Hey, Percy. Are you okay?” His brown eyes were warm, his voice scratchy from sleep and for a moment, Percy felt perfectly safe. He nodded.

“Yeah. I’m okay. Thanks. For everything.”

Nico gave him a smile. A real, sincere, sweet smile and Percy felt his breath hitch. “Don’t mention it,” he said softly.

They lay there for a while, just looking at each other, waiting for Jason to wake up. Nico broke their tentative silence first.

“Percy? What- what happened, with Luke last night?” He almost seemed nervous, asking the question. Or, maybe afraid was a better word to use. Before Percy could even begin to gather the courage to say anything back, he felt the body behind him shift and a warm, muscular arm wrap around his waist. He felt Jason’s hot breath brush across his hair as he spoke.

“How about we do showers and breakfast first and then maybe interrogation after.”

That sounded like a _wonderful_ idea.

It would give Percy a chance to figure out what to say, how much to tell them and maybe even make a plan of action for the future. He had no idea what to do next. Had no idea how to unscramble all the lies he had told. A shower would help him to think.

“That sounds like a plan,” he sighed, pushing his hair out of his eyes. Nico reached towards him, placing his olive skinned hand over top of his own as he laid it back onto the pillow between them. He gave him another sweet smile and gave his hand a squeeze.

“You’re going to be okay.”

Percy smiled back as they sat up to start his first day of freedom.

_______

They had insisted that he use the ensuite bathroom, since it was the best, giving him a clean set of clothes to put on after he was done. After pointing out the linen closet and recommending the best soap to use, Jason and Nico left him alone.

Their bathroom was absolutely crazy awesome. It wasn’t really ornate in a flashy way, no golden toilet seats or anything. It was cozy too, not ridiculously modernized and huge or full of nonessential things. Just calm tones and high end fixtures. A sunken tub big enough for two,(Percy blushed at the implications that arose)double vanity, huge rainfall shower, marble countertops and tiled floor. It was very clean, but lived in, with toothbrushes, cans and tubes on the counter, as well as a few dirty towels hanging out of a laundry hamper.

Percy didn't do any snooping, but let out a low moan when he located the towel closet and felt how _goddamn soft_ the towels were inside. He buried his face in the coloured cotton and sighed long and sad. His face was still covered in salty tear residue and he was _so_ ready to let go of that uncomfortable feeling. A few moments later and he was stepping behind the clean glass of the shower. He turned the knob and stepped back to avoid the first, cold spray that came with every shower he had ever taken, before relaxing himself and ducking into the gentle fall of it.

He let the water stay warm, not turning it up to scalding for once in his life and stood, determined to simply enjoy it.

But he didn’t.

It wasn’t that there was anything wrong with the feeling of gentle water or the smell of soap that _didn’t_ come in a pack of six, it was just the thoughts that wouldn’t stop running through his head that were making what _should_ have been an enjoyable experience a little bit overwhelming.

His problem was that he was supposed to talk to Nico  and Jason after this, but he had no idea what he was going to say. He wasn’t good at talking about things that were important and he wasn’t sure if he would be able to tell them about what he had been letting Luke do to him, even if he was pretty sure that they already knew.

And then what? What happened after? He couldn’t possibly stay here, he knew that he was probably already overstaying his welcome, no matter how kind Nico and Jason were about it. There was no way his mother had space for him and he didn’t think he would have it in him to ask if she had. He couldn’t go back to the apartment that Luke had laid his claim over, that would never be an option. He needed a job and he wasn’t about to ask Reyna, not after what he had done to her, not when Luke would be able to find him. He was going to need to find a place to live, and quickly, and it was going to have to be cheap- even cheaper than his and Luke’s apartment was- and that was going to be a hard thing to find.

He couldn’t stop thinking of Luke.

His eyes, his face, his smile, what he had done, what he had taken away, what he himself had _let_ him take.

Because in the end, that’s what had really happened. Percy had let himself fall in love, had let Luke be there, had made Luke the person he was because he just hadn’t been strong enough to handle the wave of issues that was Luke.

In the end, it was Percy’s fault. It always was, with anything, in any situation. It was his fault that his mother had had to marry Gabe, it was his fault that  she had gotten beaten, no matter how hard he had tried to be her shield. It was the same thing in this situation. He had tried to shield Luke. Keep him safe from himself, keep him safe from all his crippling memories and insecurities. But in the end, when it came to people he loved and tried to protect, he failed. He couldn’t protect his mother from Gabe and he couldn't protect Luke from his demons. No matter how many hits he took.

He finished his shower, barely feeling the water as it washed away yesterday's tears and hid the ones that were falling. He took no comfort in the towel wrapped around his bruised body. Maybe he’d count the handprints later. There was no hiding anymore.

____________--

By the time Percy had made his way out of the bathroom, dressed in Jason’s clothes that were all just a little bit too big for his slimmer frame, Nico and Jason had already gotten their table set and were just finishing up at the stove.

Jason looked up from where he was scrambling eggs and smiled.

“Hey Percy. We’re almost done here. Why don’t you take a seat?”

Percy gave him a small smile back and pulled out a chair, sitting so that he could watch them work. After a few minutes of quiet bustling and much unnecessary touching, Nico placed a bowl of eggs, a plate of bacon and with an amused/excited smirk, a stack of blue pancakes on the table. Percy let out a surprised laugh and couldn’t help but grin at the sweet gesture..

“Oh my gosh, you guys. These are beautiful.”

“I’m glad you like them. We kinda figured you’d need some cheering up.” Jason gave him one of his special smiles that made Percy feel safe as he sat down next to Nico.

“Thanks. Really, I appreciate everything you guys have done for me. I’m just sorry that I dragged you into this mess.”

“Dude, no. You didn’t drag us into anything. We care about you and we’ve always wanted to help.” Jason frowned slightly, looking a little bit concerned. “Believe me, we’ve been worried about you for a while. Don’t think we haven’t noticed you drifting away from us.”

Percy poked at his pancakes, trying to avoid their sincere gazes.

He wanted to tell them that he drifted away from everyone, that they shouldn’t take it personally.

Instead, he pushed a piece of warm pancake into his mouth and fought the urge to throw up.

They didn’t push him to talk about it. Just eating their breakfast together. It was nice, but it also made Percy extremely apprehensive. They were going to ask him questions and he was going to have to answer them. He didn’t want to tell them what he had done, what he had let happen. What if he told them that Luke had raped him and they didn’t believe him? What if they looked at his body, saw that he was fit, that he was strong, that there was no way that he couldn’t have fought off his boyfriend. It wasn’t rape if he was able to stop it, right? What would they say?

How about when he had to tell him that he wasn’t taking night classes, that he hadn’t been busy? That he was jobless and homeless and too embarrassed to tell his mother about everything that had happened between him and Luke? Would they call him a coward, a liar? Or would their open their arms to him, like they always did, even when he didn’t deserve it.

The two men were kind enough to wait for him to be done eating before asking him the question he’d been dreading all morning.

“Percy, we’re sorry, really, we are, but, we have to ask you what happened. Please. We just, we need to know.”

Percy shrugged, looking down at the table and trying to sound dismissive.

“It was nothing. He cheated on me, so I told him we were through.”

Nico scowled. “Excuse me for calling bullshit on that.” He looked angry, but for some reason Percy didn’t think that the anger was directed at him. It should have been, he was lying to them again. “Please explain the bruises. Explain the fear. Explain to me why you ran away from us and lied to us and ignored us for over two months. Tell us why you were sitting on a roof when you contacted us. We know none of it was your fault, we know that you value your privacy we know that you're scared, but don't you think that we deserve a little truth from you? Do you know how worried we’ve been?”

“ _Nico_ ,” Jason hissed, looking fearful and stiff.

“No.” Percy said. “No, it’s fine. He’s right. You guys deserve the truth.” He swallowed back his fear, looked down at his lap and started talking.

“He didn’t start deliberately hurting me until a little while after New Years. I mean, before, it would just be holding on to tight and giving me bruises, or a cut lip when he got a little to rough. It was nothing, really, I didn’t mind and I was- I thought it was just part of wanting someone.

But then, he started to get jealous, like, really jealous. And I thought it would just be yelling or passive aggressive shit, like it always is. Turns out, if you ignore your boyfriends calls all day, bad things happen.

‘I mean, I never-” He took a breath and steadied himself. “I never thought that he would hit me. Not like that. It was just- It surprised me. I came home and he was cold and then he was furious and he… he hit me. And then he grabbed my face and scratched me and hit me again and I ran, I swear I was going to get out, I wasn’t going to let it happen again, but then he told me he was sorry, that he loved me and he had _never_ said that to me before. So I, I stayed and I know it was stupid, so _goddamn stupid_ , because I knew that _I_ loved him and I knew that I could never hurt him the way he had just hurt me. But I stayed and I let him- I just let him.

‘The truth is that I didn’t break up a bar fight and I’m not taking night classes and I didn’t lose your number, I left my jobs because Luke made me leave them and after he caught me kissing you, Jason, he beat the shit out of me and left me bloody and he…” Percy trailed off, his voice catching in his throat. He stared at his hands. They were trembling.

“Percy.” Jason’s voice was kind, but tight. “Please. What did he do to you?’

He scrunched his black eyebrows together, refusing to look up.

“Is it rape if you’re a couple? I mean, was I obligated to give him what he wanted from me? Was it okay?” He was talking frantically, trying to make excuses or justify what had happened to him. He didn’t want to have been raped. “Is it rape if I could have stopped him?”

He heard someone let out a breath, it sounded choked. Percy finally managed to drag his face upward to look at the two men in the room with him. They looked horrified, disgusted, even.

He felt his shoulders droop and dropped his head back down, cradling his face in his hands and running his fingers over the tiny scars left from landing on a coffee table.

He knew what they were thinking. He had been raped, he had been tainted, he would never be the same, he was weak, he was messed up and they were disgusted, were probably horrified at the thought of ever having touched him, of ever having to touch him again.

But then there were hands on his shoulders, hands caressing down his arms. He felt a strong hand sliding under his own to lift his face out of its hiding spot. Jason began to stroke his thumb over Percy’s cheekbone. If he could feel the scars too, he paid them no mind. Nico hugged him from behind and buried his face in Percy’s neck, long, dark hair brushing against his forehead, lips pressed against his collarbone.

They were touching him and he didn’t want them to stop. Jason’s eyes were so blue and concerned.

He spoke, sternly and with conviction: “Nothing that has happened with Luke is your fault. It’s not your fault that he’s a piece of shit. It’s not your fault that he took advantage of your feelings. It’s not your fault that he hurt you or that you were scared, or that you were unable to hurt him back.”

Nico breathed his own words into Percy’s neck. “You loved him and that’s okay. He used the fact that you loved him against you, and that’s not okay. You’re so _fucking_ strong and so _f_ _ucking_ kind and he has no _fucking business_ making you doubt yourself.”

And just like that, the dam broke and Percy was sobbing again. Jason lifted him off his chair gently and slid underneath him, placing the smaller man on his lap and letting him bury his face in his chest. They just held him like that, surrounded him and let him cry.

They could do the dishes later.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know, when I started writing this, I didn't think it would get so dark or be so long.  
> Please tell me if it's an okay chapter. I know it's a lot of internal monologue.  
> I promise Nico and Jason will have time to be properly pissed off later.


End file.
